Scooby-Doo and Conspiracy Too
A behind the scenes mockumentary of Scooby-Doo and his associates, The Meddling Kids. Are they really a band of 20something crime-fighters, or something much more insidious?
Standard plot: The band of "Meddling Kids" arrives in a town containing an amusement park, abandoned mine or a swamp. Some crimes of weirdness occur. There is a chase scene and a musical interlude, followed by an intricate trap which fails to function as planned, yet still captures someone in a rubber mask, who proclaims "I would've gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids."
It takes no stretch to realize that the kids are framing the elderly (the bad guy is nearly always identified as "Old man Caruthers" or some similar name) for their crimes. This mode of operation is nearly always attributed to J.B. Fletcher of "Murder, she wrote" but that is not the source. In nearly 40 years, I have been involved in only 1 crime investigation. These 20somethings are involved in one week after week. Other TV characters have had similar frequencies, but they are normally police or affiliated professionals. This evidence is not sufficient to convict the "Meddling Kids" of anything, so here is a deeper analysis.
The primary characters of the program are allegedly a band. They travel frequently, seldom playing the same town 2 nights, and they do not haul their instruments. As a group is sort of like the Spice Girls spliced into the Back Street Boys except people have the sense not to worship them. A further similarity would be 2 more attractive members, 2 less attractive, and 1 sub-human (you may decide for yourself which Spice Street Back Boy Girl is which).
Note: The band name may not actually be "Meddling Kids" but they are often referred to by this name and is smacks of the 70's punk movement. The band is actually called "Mystery, Inc." but Meddling Kids sounds cooler. MK5 would also be good if they rapped. The Mystery Machine is the name of their van, although the only real mysteries are why they have no baggage or instruments and no rear seats.
Looking deeper into the title character, Scooby-Doo presents a world of intrigue unto himself. First off, he walks on his hind legs and willingly dons disguises.Secondly, he is a talking dog. Not akin to the dogs that make noises that some overly creative and boastful owner arranges into phrases such as "I love you", but actual constructive dialog, including bargaining. It is also worth mentioning Dynomutt, the Dog Wonder (sidekick to the Blue Falcon) who also speaks, but is brave and cybered to the hilt. This could be the suspected Scooby-Die, a 5th litter-mate, the result of a similar experiment or even the gene-source for the Scooby series.
This is undoubtedly the work of a government agency or other participant in the military-industrial complex. The program was likely intended to produce hyper-intelligent dogs for use in operations where human life could not be risked. There are several other characters, appearing throughout the series, identified as Scooby-Doo's cousins. Scooby-dum(b) and Scooby-Dee both exhibit the ability to walk upright and speak. All three also exhibit speech patterns which would hinder communications. The introduction of Scrappy-Doo as a nephew also implies a higher pattern. Consider a generation of genengineered dogs, the Scooby series, with as an example 4 pups. Scooby series Doo, Dee, Dum, and Die. The first three were unacceptable because of speech problems, cowardice, stupidity, or timidity. The fourth, Scooby-Die however seems to be acceptable, or at least along the path to the desired "greater dane". Scooby-Die is then used to sire the next series, the Scrappy series. Assuming the same individual names, along comes Scrappy-Doo. Scrappy-Doo exhibits quality speech, ambition, bravery, and intelligence, but is small, an undesirable trait for combatants who may need to carry weapons and such. We can only assume that there is a Scrappy-Die breeding a thumbed (or other asset) line of pooches.
Unfortunately for this agency, one cannot simply destroy unwanted projects. The ASPCA would draw undue attention to the project. Rather the less successful animals are given to certain agents who may be able to use them (in this case, as bait, highlighting the low value placed on his assets), with or without extra training. In this case drug addiction, in the form of "Scooby snacks" is used by Daphne to prompt certain behaviors from Scooby (hereafter just Scooby). While street drugs such as cocaine or heroine are certainly possible, their side effects are not always agreeable with the mission, but an engineered drug, to sate an engineered addiction, prevents problems with police and other law enforcement types and may have no effect rather than to calm withdrawal symptoms, like cigarettes without the cancer and emphysema.
Shaggy, another of the "Meddling Kids" has also developed an addiction to Scooby snacks. This possibility was never considered by the agency as people do not eat dog biscuits, but for whatever reason, Shaggy did and did become addicted to them, and his behavior is conditioned with them as much as Scoobies is. Shaggy is tall and thin and claims to be a "track man". Regardless of the truth regarding his high school sports, he is quick on his feet which makes him useful as bait for the hopelessly elaborate traps concocted every episode.
Thelma, thought by many to be the brains of the "Meddling Kids" is not. While very intelligent, she is another dupe. She knows that Daphne and Fred are Agents for some higher power, and may even believe that she knows which power, she also believes that she is in on their plots. Daphne and Fred encourage her belief that she is a part of greater things, because Thelma is the type to hold a grudge and may actually be able to put enough together to figure out something real, but as long as she is a part of the IN crowd, she is useful and cooperative. Some persons speculate that Thelma is gay. The point is trivial. If she lusts for Daphne, it makes Daphne's job of controlling her easier, but acknowledging her wits is plenty.
Fred is a technical and improvisational genius. Normally, after the elaborate trap fails and the bad guy is captured anyway, Fred is the one that unmasks the monster (the monsters always wear masks and always the same sort of latex hood). Fred also reveals how the "villain" did all the supernatural crap. It can be observed at the unmasking, the villains always say "I would have gotten away, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids" indicating that they realized too late that they were set up and that the framing is thorough enough that no court will ever acquit them. Fred is fully aware and an active part of the conspiracy and also a paid agent, although a junior grade. Note that when the MK split up, Fred and Daphne always go together (to finalize any details of the framing). Sometimes during the split-up they take Thelma (to keep her thinking she's one of the cool kids) and sometimes not. Scooby and Shaggy are always kept in the dark as they are too stupid to keep a secret.
Daphne is the true (local) head of the conspiracy. She has been acknowledged as having wealth, though there is no discussion of her family. She is the owner of Scooby, and most often, the provider of Scooby-snacks to both Scooby and Shaggy. Her goal is to frame up people, presumably to: 1) Facilitate the purchase of land (abandoned amusement parks, old silver mines, swamps, etc) by other agents and front companies to establish training bases, safe houses, and staging areas for agency operations. 2) Open up positions of public office so that agency pawns can be moved into those seats of power. 3) Poison the minds of youth with their awful pop music.
Final note: I love almost all Hanna-Barbara cartoons, much more than any others of the time. This is meant as a flattering imitation.
Author's post-final note: The original of this was lost and this version does not include the last edits. Any charges between this and what was posted last week are trivial (like any of this is a major deal :-) )