Ninja Burger PBP - Interlude 9/25/06


For a moment the world goes fuzzy, and you all -- every single one of you -- recalls vividly a story you once heard about a distant relative or ancestor who was, remarkably, in a situation almost identical to the one you are personally in RIGHT NOW.

This moment of clarity and deja vu brings you greater insight, and after taking a moment to reflect on its meaning, you will each gain 5 Honor points, which you must immediately spend on Qualities. You may increase a Poor (-2) Quality to Average, or Average (+0) to Good (+2), or Good (+2) to Expert (+4), or you may take an entirely new Quality at Good (+2), provided that your recollection (which you will post here for this week) is relevant to what you're increasing.

I am doing this now because we've been going for a while and in a real life campaign you'd have been rewarded at least a few times by now. You deserve this. Yes, Wroe gets this too. Everyone does. Including me!

The Dispatcher goes silent for a moment, meditating about a story his grandfather once told him..

...about his ancestor, Sanfordan-san, who invented the world's first eyeglasses while in the middle of a battlefield. Legend said that Sanfordan, a footsoldier, was rushing forward with five other soldiers when an explosion rained fire upon his small group. The bodies of his fallen compatriots saved him from death, and nearly blinded Sanfordan, but when he shook off the bodies he discovered that the sand beneath him had been melted into lenses. He quickly cobbled together a sniper rifle from the fallen weapons of his now-dead compatriots, attached the lenses, and took careful aim at the leader of the enemy army, on a hilltop a mile away. He snarled, pulled the trigger, and fired...

When the enemy leader walked the battlefield hours later, having completely destroyed Sanfordan's army, he came across Sanfordan's body. Beside him lie a twisted, blackened mess of rifle, having exploded from the inside, out. And fused permanently to Sanfordan's now vacant eyes were two lenses of glass. The enemy samurai thought for a moment, then chopped off Sanfordan's head and threw it to the pigs to be eaten. And so the discovery would be lost to time...

...but not to legend!

Yes, the Dispatcher thinks, this is just like that moment! This delivery is going to be a disaster. I can see that clearly now, just like Sanfordan saw clearly through those glasses!

Average [+0] Ninja
Master [+6] Dispatcher
Poor [-2] Astigmatism --> Average [0] Vision

A rather quiet interlude, if I may say so. Have you all been thinking about this as hard as I have?

A large blip appears seemingly out of nowhere on to the screen of one of Bozuko's many reconnaissance tools. Bozo stares somewhat stupidly at the odd shape.

"An aircraft of that size jist can't maneuver like that. Unless... No, it can't be."

A high-pitched, sharp melody pierces the air, sounding oddly like the theme from "The X-Files". Frantically trying to make his periscope point up, Bozuko disregards the existence of his juggled objects at precisely the wrong moment. A gosling comes down on his head, hard, and as the world loses focus much like a badly-edited movie, Bozo recalls some words of wisdom passed on by his longtime mentor and business partner, Bansai Breakshisnose...

"Aw, give it up! You'll never be able to keep a crowd with a routine like that!"

Tears streaming down his face, Bozuko tries once again to master the stacked cascade 5-way multiplex pattern, but his hands are sweaty and the wild pigs resist the otherwise simple excercise. A spiked club clatters to the linoleum, and Bansai cries out,

"You'll never amount to anything Bozo! You just don't have the flair it takes to be a clown."

The word "clown" echoes hauntingly as Bozuko regains consciousness. He can still feel the make-up burning in his moist eyes.

"I am something, Bansai," he cries out, "I am NINJA!!! And in spite of all you've said, I will succeed in my chosen profession! I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG!!!"

Bellowing out those final words, Bozuko can feel the strength of his own will surging through his body, improving his reflexes, strengthening his throwing muscles, and empowering his mind.

Average [+0] Ninja
Good [+2] Spotter
Good [+2] Projectile Guidance ---> Expert [+4] Chucking Things
Good [+2] at Finding Use for Garbage
Poor [-2] at Standing Out

As the van mounts a footpath while evading an oncoming vehicle, Toru experiences an intense sense of deja vu. He blinks.

A cool wind is rushing past his face, and the smell of aviation fuel invades his nostrils. A long bonnet extends in front of him, with a large number 20 painted on it. The roar of an enormous engine fills the air.

A curve in the road is rapidly approaching. Three other racers block the track, jostling for position. Looking over to his trusty co-driver and mechanic, Soichiro Honda, he remembers a Koan his friend told him before the race:

"We put thirty spokes together and call it a wheel;
But it is on the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the wheel depends."

With a still mind and soul, Shinichi Sakibahara smoothly, effortlessly maneuvers between the other cars in the bend, through tiny gaps opened just wide enough and just long enough for his car to pass. He is no longer driving the car; he is the car.

Toru's eyes open. Only a moment has passed, but a new awareness of the world has dawned.

Average [+0] Ninja
Good [+2] Stunt Driver ---> Expert [+4] Zen Driver
Good [+2] Smooth Talker
Good [+2] Mechanic
Poor [-2] Navigator

With his eyes still shut and the sauce mantra on his lips, Kitaro-san suddenly recalls an old, forgotten, cherished memory:

A warm, sunny, autumn afternoon, lying on his back on Gradma's lawn.
"Jinj, why don't you come on in and help me with the Kouskous?
If you'll behave I'll let you have some of those pancakes we made earlier, ok?"
The smell of those sweet pancakes still hanging in the air, young Jijiro gets up and runs into the house, into Grandma's kitchen, with all its spices and delicious marmalades.

It seems Kitaro knows more about cooking than his time in the army taught him.

Average [0] Ninja
Good [+2] at using sharp things
Good [+2] at trivia and esoteric facts
Good [+2] at misusing computers
Poor [-2] compulsive pun-maker
Good [+2] Cook <- new

As he rides atop the ambulance, the flashing lights and varying siren noises send Skipito into a siezure. In the brief seconds he witnesses the world as Jesus did. Running across the dessert toward a promised land, walking across the water. But Jesus has fallen and is being swept away by the water, and he sees his companions being picked up by armed men. Jesus wept. Sometime later, the river spits Jesus ashore. He has arrived at a better place.

"Thank you Jesus Friskito, for crosing the Rio Grande."

Average [+0] Ninja
Good [+2]Corporate Lackey
Good [+2] Extreme Sportster --> Extreme Sportster [+4],Riding the Tao
Good [+2] Deliverator
Poor [-2] Impulse Control.

Although I agree with the reasons not to do it, I am going to call a one-week break, both to give Wroe a chance to comment here, and to hopefully have my broken computer back from the shop so I can have access to my game notes again.

Sorry for any inconvenience. We'll resume on Sunday.

Thanks aeon, last week was kindof crazy and it was over before I could blink. I know, excuses are like armpits, everyone has them and they all stink. I'll do better in the future.

Rin felt a pain shoot through her jaw, her teeth were clenched together. As she closed her eyes to prepare for impact, she suddenly found herself on her grandfathers knee remembering a moment long since past.

"Young one life isn't always as it seems. When I was just a few years older then you, I left my home to seek my fortune. You see, my father had talked to the Sennin, and I was meant to fulfill a great promise and bring fame and honor to my family. I was destined to follow the great Seiobo to her home at the end of the world and become a Saru Mawashi in her garden.

For countless time and distance I walked, searching for Seiobo's garden. One night in my dispair I gave into weakness and had some sake. So great was the darkness on my soul with the thought that I had failed my family, and then I saw it. New York City. I thought, surely there are no flowers or trees stronger and greater then these. Surely if there was to be an end of the world it would at least start here even if it wasn't exactly situated at the end of the world. And as for becoming a monkey-trainer, surely there is nothing more primape-ish then trying to teach fat lazy American's the fine arts of defense.

Things are not always as they seem little one. Hard facts can be interpretted as you choose. It was all laid out like a map, you just have to learn to read it. If you find yourself lost like I did, a good cup of sake will set you straight again."

Rin opened her eyes again, once more in reality. Even though death looked at the moment unavoidable, all she needed was some thing to change her perspective about the dismal situation, and if it guided her back to the house of her ancestors then it was a double plus. "Thanks Gramps"

Average [+0] Ninja
Good [+2] Navigation --> Expert [+4]Drunken Mapster
Good [+2] Observation
Good [+2] Computer Nerd
Poor [-2] Following Orders