Ninja Burger PBP Episode 24 - 11/27/06
Dice roll summary:
Whutaguy/Skipito (Deliverator): 58 = 9
Arvo/Toru (Driver): 41 = 5
Zipdrive/Kitaro (Chef): 27 = 5
Lorthyne/Bozuko (Spotter): 07 = 9
Wroe/Rin (Navigator): 31 = 4
Poor [-2] Sense of Decency
Good [+2] Pirate Pizza Employee
Expert [+4] Carjacking
Rin tosses a fistful of maps into the rear of the van (excellent use of Drunken Mapster = 4 + 4 +2 Being Ninja = 10), and the two pirates act like those ladies in those commercials for those utensils like where they can't get the can open with the ordinary can opener and the can spills all over the counter. Basically they flounder about for a few seconds, helplessly entangled in California. Risking life and limb, Rin leaps over their heads to get to the portable kitchen, and grabs the first utensil that comes to hand, which (as fate would have it) is exactly one of those sorts of utensils they sell in the commercials where they can't get the can open. It's not very sharp, alas.
This turns out to be a good thing, because Toru starts the van, turns everything on, and jams the van in reverse (5 + 4 = 9). Physics being what they are, this has the net result of causing everyone that's not seated to stumble forward, towards the front of the van, and then, when the brakes are hit, to stumble backwards, towards the back of the van, which is where Rin is when two pirates covered in map come flying towards her.
Outside in the streets...
Bozuko pulls a Neo and not only dodges the pizza sheet (9 +4 Chucking Things + 2 Being Ninja + 2 Honor = 17), he manages to deflect it with his legs in such a way that the sheet zings off a nearby light post and heads back towards the Pirate that threw it, all without using his hands. The Pirate snarls and reaches out to grab it out of midair as it hurtles towards him, and also surprisingly, he manages to do this without using hands either. And from now on, he'll be doing everything without using his hands, because the razor sharp pizza tray... well, let's just say it's not pretty. 10 Ranks of damage, and he's out of the running for Pizza Pirate Employee of the Month.
This is all stunningly awesome except for the fact that several of the bystanders (remember them?) act a little horrified, and begin to reach for cell phones. Probably a moot point. You can hear sirens already.
Meanwhile, in the building...
In one smooth motion, Skipito steps out into the hall, and in Michael Jordon like fashion takes one, two huge steps (don't want to get caught for traveling) and glides through the air, smoothly placing the right side of his foot on the left side of the Pirate's head. As this is a complete surprise, the Pirate doesn't get to react, and he takes 9 ranks of damage. This is a problem for the Pirate, since he only has 6 ranks to speak of, and he goes out like a light, folds up like a chair, and does several other cliche things to boot.
As this is happening, Kitaro rolls sideways, jutting his legs out to tangle up the Pirate behind him. It's a bit awkward (roll of 5, alas) and he doesn't quite manage to knock the pirate down, but luckily as he's about to sit up and head-butt Pirate 2 (heh heh Butt Pirate), the first pirate topples over and crashes head first into him, causing 2 ranks of damage. Fortunately for Kitaro, this throws off the pirate's attack, and his cutter skitters wildly off the pizza box he blocks with.
As Kitaro tangles with the pirate, Skipito whips out his cell and dials Dispatch. "This is making it somewhat difficult to find the customer," he says, but hears only the hiss of static.
"Why, I have the customer right here," says a voice. Skipito turns, and sees the Pirate Captain standing at the far end of the hall, a cutlass in one hand, and the customer in the other hand. "Now, what you gonna do about it?"
"Awrk, what you gonna do, awrk," says his parrot.