Yclepement

Naming ceremony; the presiding magistrate of the ceremony (usually a Hive-Lord) is called a clepmatricist. In the yclepement ceremony, after drinking a couple of ceremonial cups (usually supplementing the half-dozen quaffed while socializing before things got started) and offering some opening remarks, the clepmatricist smashes together the eggs of two Drove beetles and spreads their combined innards on a specially prepared lumographic page. This mess is allowed to sit on the sheet for a while, as the ceremony (and the emptying of a few more cups) continues. At the conclusion of the event, the residue is scraped off, and the clepmatricist reads the signs and portents left behind to determine the proper name for the subject in question.

Can a clepmatricist be capable of anything when they are as loaded as they tend to be? Of course, a clepmatricist who falls unconscious before the ceremony can be completed is a very poor choice, but the guys who do this work professionally build up a real tolerance, and tend not to pass out until several hours of partying after the ceremony is over. Hiring a young clepmatricist for an important yclepement is almost certainly a mistake.

What causes the luminographic image to change? Combining the innards of two or more Drove beetles begins a host of enzymatic processes. Some of these processes cause corrosion of the luminous elements of the lumographic page, rendering them dull and dark, while other areas are enhanced by the effects of other enzymes. The result, after the whole heap of splak is scraped off, may be inscrutable to the lay public, but is always varied and drastically changed from the original page.

Do they have a yclepement ceremony in the Xurient, too? How do you think they get their names there?

''My child performed their own yclepement ceremony for their new pet seijek using a page torn out of an old lumic and a couple of gadflies. Is this heresy?'' Children will sometimes play at being clepmatricists. They should be counseled that this is something that only trained adult professionals should do. And keep the kids away from the adlorst and the fefferberry liquor.

Aren't all clepmatricists just a bunch of worthless, drunken louts? There have been some noted and esteemed clepmatricists. Briorus Jan-Vanderschusen was a philosopher and learned scholar in several fields, as well as a much sought-after clepmatricist.

Is it wise for a Bearer of Bad News to be a clepmatricist? Are you kidding? No.

Is it permissible to have a second yclepement? While rare, there are some instances when a revised yclepement is called for. At least three clepmantricists should be consulted, and at least two of them should be sober at the time.

Citations: Bearer of Bad News, Drove beetles, Luminous manuscript.

--Brother Arfrus 15:46, 9 November 2005 (EST)