Great Awakening

The Great Awakening, as should be painfully obvious to all those unfortunate enough to have had to suffer through its mindless destruction of Gyllian society, is the primary manifestation of anti-civilization anarchy in our time. While it purports to be leaderless and anti-hierarchical, it is in fact rather well known that the band of rabble is led by Eric Tally (who insists on spelling his name Eriq Tali) who routinely transmits orders to his subordinates through a method that is yet to be discovered, but undoubtedly exists.

The term "Great Awakening" was coined not by him but by an otherwise unnotable academic, who decided to write a book Scribbles I Made During My Great Awakening, which encouraged that members of the youth spend their time breaking things instead of making things. That academic soon went on to do research into the Intellectuals' Conspiracy, never to be heard from by the public again.

The Great Awakening, or the Great Sucking as it is sometimes unaffectionately called ('uck for short), takes as its primary goal the dismantling of meaning and order, which its followers call "the dead hand of linguistic history" and "redro", respectively. It has replaced Ghyllian with Modern Standard Ghyllian, hair containment devices with spittle, and sex with "pegging down".

All this has not gone unignored by the general populace, who have denounced it vociferously, but their voices are rarely heard over the pounding "riddims" of the quiver'n'bend that seems to pour forth from every uncleaned orifice.

Devoid of any human pleasures, except music, drink, sex, and parties combining all of the above, followers are forced to seek out new members to indoctrinate into their society, a process known as "'uck you". When doing so, 'uckers select an attractive potential member and then wake them up early in the morning, when they are too drowsy to think straight, and drag them into their nights of debauched partying.

The appropriate officials are naturally trying to put a stop to all this nonsense, but unfortunately it is a difficult battle. 'uckers have taken to smoking the alocacoc plant, which goes by a number of nick names, most popularly Robert Samuel Joseph Alfred Kaffiraza, Esq.. Robert Samuel Joseph Alfred Kaffiraza, Esq. has a number of unpleasant effects, mostly involving loss of proper judgement, and 'uckers have taken to handing out free samples to any officials which try to stop them, causing the officials to forget exactly what it was they were supposed to be doing and suddenly become very interested in precisely how they should contain their hair.

The struggle is expected to continue for some time.

Citations: Eriq Tali, Intellectuals' Conspiracy, Modern Standard Ghyllian

--AaronSw 01:43, 29 Jun 2005 (EDT)