Careers

The following excerpt from last week's Folktown Records (#669; 1/1/22 EC), by an author who wishes to remain anonymous, is an excellent summary of the Ghyllian "job market" (to coin a phrase) and is hereby submitted for the Encyclopedia:


 * Now that Morphous Ibb is nearly nine, he wants to know how one goes about choosing a career. A fine question.


 * Obviously the first point is to discover what sorts of careers there are, and then try to find out which one you might be suited for and vice versa. You could be an agony uncle like me, or a journalist of a more ordinary stripe, or a scholar, or go into politics by way of becoming a Boxing Day referee, and eventually going on to become Lord Mayor of Iganefta or Mayor of Folktown.  (And there is no point in asking me why the Belly-Jewel of the South has a Lord Mayor and the capital of Ghyll a mere Mayor, for I tell you plainly I have no idea.)


 * Alternatively, you could become a pachyderm driver, or a scribbler of books for the young to read and/or chew on (as the saying is, "I give you books, and I give you books, and all you do is eat the covers!"), or an inventor like (but not like, oh please, not like) Harv Gretborn, or a public entertainer of one sort or another, or a businessman.


 * The Ibbs are not famous for their highly placed connections, so a sinecure with a learned society is probably out; likewise, they are far from being social outcasts, which eliminates the short but interesting career of a rejah.


 * To be a musician or artist requires special talent; if you have those, you probably know it already.


 * Be sure to ask your parents about your toilet training, as this has been shown to have a lot of effect on what your future prospects in life will be.


 * After that, it's a mere matter of working as an unpaid intern (and enduring the contumely of your boss), or getting some time on an open stage, or being a copyboy, or assisting with a political campaign, or retiring to an underground sanctum sanctorum to work with stinks or fizzles, or whatever seems suitable to your chosen career. Don't feel bad if you find out that your original idea wasn't the best:  "If at first you don't succeed, try, try something else", as the saying is.


 * (The less said about Olaff Devork in this connection, the better.)

Citations: Folktown, Morphous Ibb, Toilet training.

--John Cowan 13:50, 3 Jun 2005 (EDT)