Fefferberry Folklore

''Whack! Smack!''

What was that?

What was that?

Fefferberry Folklore

is on the way back!

--Doggerel plague, 0 EC.

Fefferberry Folklore is a big, but firmly treasured, lie. Whereas common wive's tales like "you'll poke your eye out!", "your face will freeze like that!", "wearing shoes will help your young walk sooner, not toilet training" are short and memorable, Fefferberry Folklore is hopelessly convoluted, illogical, and ever growing. In an attempt to make the story more recitable at the expense of absolute insanity, Rhajoon Quezlar created a mnemonic device:

F is for the father Quinto, who created the boy.

E is for ensanity, of which X R projected no coy.

F is for the furious dread giant Grephthosthenes.

F is for.. .. ... the furious dread giant Grephthosthenes.

E is for the mystical golden stein, treasured by three Fs.

R is for the rage of the second F toward the first E's purveyor.

B is for the battle of the third F and the first E.

E is for the bad entendre the first E was slapped for.

R is for the voices that suggested of the happenstance.

R is for the choices arrested by said happenstance.

Y is for the victory and ownership of the stein.

is for the anguished acceptance of the missing stein.

F is for an unforgettable event by an unwanted child.

O is for the inbibing of wine, ne'er to be stopped.

L is for the love of the golden stein and strength of its spirits.

K is not for Kiluma, because that wouldn't make any sense.

L is for the lousiness of lager; fill your steins with wine!

O is for the fourth F being too young to abduct, but indeed he did.

R is for the same as the first, only re: first E and fourth F.

E is for the excavation of yet another intuition.

Naturally, this isn't very helpful either, let alone the fact that there are so many different chapters of Fefferberry Folklore, all "retold" with the exact same mnemonic device, that various singular entries get integrated with another creating an even deeper mess. Sometimes the fourth F gets switched for the second, the first R refers to a clump of mud, or it just trails off resulting in only FEFFERBERRY FOLKLO.

From the award-eligible book Fefferberry Folklore: F is for Fallacy:


 * The story is one of empowerment: by drinking this wine, then Quezlar's Quaff, you'd feel better about yourself and your life, without a care in the world. Not only internally but, more importantly, better than other people, the chief reason the drink became so popular amongst the wealthy elite. The back story, filled with magical steins and hideous monsters, merely highlighted the importance, trials, and tribulations that were overcome to bring such a powerful potion to the world. Why all the trouble if it were just a normal wine? Rather, the stories profess this was something that had been protected but now was freed for the enjoyment of all.


 * The story was just that: a fabricated recitation. Current evidence suggest it began as a seed within the rantings of X R Quezlar. Noticing the negative attention his crazy dad was receiving from the public, Rhajoon Quezlar turned everything around by actually creating the monstrosities X R claimed: the golden stein, "proof" of Grephthosthenes' existence, documents and legends speaking of a recipe that strengthened the spirit, and more. The public, slightly ashamed at their treatment of a babbling madman who through his son's patience and dedication was absolved of his tirades, were perfectly willing to atone with a sip... ok, a stein... here and there. It only went downhill from there.

Citations: Grephthosthenes, Quezlar family, Wive's tale.

--Morbus Iff 14:41, 24 Jun 2005 (EDT)