Darkened Lantern

All source names in this report are false, not to avoid documentation, but rather to ensure the safety of my sources - they have broken many rules of secrecy within the Brothers of the Lantern. It must also be known that I myself was put in slight risk as there was one attempt on my life this week as a result of my research (however, in hindsight, it should be actively considered that I was very drunk at the time and "research" involved this lovely young....er, nevermind.)


 * The incident of the Darkened Lantern, as it were, is mainly consistent of a moral conundrum, which is admittedly not novel for the Brotherhood. It must then be realized that although this was one that lacked a definitive answer, as do most of the Brotherhood's favorite questions, the difficulty lied neither in the question nor the answer, but that a situation demanded an immediate, and simple response, which was what was really so dangerous about it." --Bikari Smallwood

The argument in question was whether the alchemical intelligence (abbreviated "A.Int." by most people in the field) in EctoMechanauts was capable of contemplating the spiritual. In -37 EC, Bolma Knengsken-Drasselmeyer, attempting to Answer his Question, died shortly after attempting to sneak into the EctoMechanaut factories of FMC. He left this life babbling madly and in police custody. His Hive-Lord disappeared shortly afterwards in equally strenuous circumstances. After this, the Question became quite popular, especially amongst EctoMechanaut Use Protestors Horrified at Obvious Racketeering of Intelligent Alchentities (the common definition of objects with any form of alchemical life energy), more commonly known as EUPHORIA.


 * While the Brotherhood often meditated on this question and crafted several answers, the incident that occurred afterwards is very important. An EctoMechanaut with a skeletal frame of what is believed to have been ghoulwood, known to us as Narthcuhgylliandonelfherendkeflugen (his serial production number was scratched out, and multiple sources say it is an ancient Alezanian lesser deity, thus the strangeness therein), attempted to join the Brotherhood in -22 EC. --Dentyl Cane


 * No one really knows who said what. A debate by the usual factions was formed. It is known that the arguments on both were complicated enough to drive men mad. The arguments came to the point where it led to the incident. --"Salty" Gibbons


 * The eventual event ended in the EctoMechanaut being accepted. When he was inititiated by having the light of the great darseed oil lantern shone upon him (a secret rite of ancient times, perhaps older than the Brotherhood themselves, according to most Occultologists), the light was black instead of white. This is because someone replaced the darseed oil with Quezlar's Quaff, boiled into a gelatinous substance. The EctoMechanaut disappeared when the dark beam hit him. We don’t know as to why, and we did not feel brave enough to test the beam on someone else. --Jermaine Loweltree 78th


 * We also do not know who did it, despite multiple investigations and numerous anonymous tips. Some theorize it was the pranksters who had been painting luminescent vandalism on our walls. Others believe it was none other than an illustrious urBrother who had championed his not being accepted into the order, and others believed that it was merely an error caused by a mislabelling of boxes. --Marque Cho’gall

Police reports are as follows:


 * Photographic studies and internal design schemata proved that the alchentity in question was quite possibly Jacques, the first known technically sentient EctoMechanaut. The scratched out serial number was probably his creator's signature, which was scratched off seeing as he didn’t have a serial number in the first place. If found, he is still wanted for questioning in the events concerning his creator's death. --Detective Bernhard Lenhork

It has been said, by the few witnesses who stepped forward on condition of anonymity, that there was no trace of him left, and he did not appear to be in pain when the beam hit him. Some witnesses claimed he smiled. It is a proposed theory that he set up the beam, and it did not kill him but moved him somewhere else. Others claim he wished to die because he knew what he had done, most likely attempting to imply that he killed his master.

As to whether or not the Brotherhood has been able to find out about the creation of EctoMechanauts (supposedly a major part of their decision to accept the EctoMechanaut into the Brotherhood), those who did investigate have all since died save two, both of whom have gone mentally insane and are now currently living in the Zyrgian Asylum for the Mildly Mad.

Citations: EctoMechanauts, EUPHORIA, Zyrgian Asylum.

--Theophenes 15:39, 8 Apr 2005 (EDT)