Last witness

The Last Witness Guild has used the following verse as their motto for many years:

Once upon a tyme

Ther wus a fell' (1)

Who wove the words

Others would tell

The verse comes from a poem entitled, "Witness of the Believer" and is held in high regard as a true-life tale of cheating the law and getting away with it, although none of the names appear in any other works (gruff fiction included.) Some of the more tactless Ghyllians suggest that last witnesses probably reside at Lake Crimin but none of the known inhabitants of that region are registered in the "Last Witness Guild", which is more of a club than a guild, but we don't argue with them.

The guild unofficially formed in -639 EC when it was determined that a certain case proceeding wasn't going as planned and the testimony of the Daydream Believer had to be set to match what the other guys wanted as the truth. So, some masterfully talented Ghyllians were gathered together and wove a tale of fright and flight so that the other guys looked really good and the guys who should have won looked really really dumb (mainly because they didn't think of the idea of tweaking the testimony first.)

Of course, the last witnesses were paid very well for their services and many Ghyllians became interested in the job. Only a select few could be selected at a time, so the guild holds twelve (originally fourteen) seat positions (called chair witnesses) and about forty reserve positions (called last impromptu justo.) This means "we're the ones who sit around and are made to look stupid because we never do anything." The Ghyllians on reserve are told it means "reserve witnesses". Around -444 EC, the "Last Witness Guild" was formed officially and the members decided (nearly unanimously) to cease seeking payment for their services. The two Ghyllians who had objected to this were removed from the Guild and then removed from life, by being transfixed to their chair and thrown into the Andelphracian River with a boulder attached to each of them. This is why there are now only twelve chair witnesses.

Some Ghyllians of note who are believed to have been at least "last impromptu justo" include Azer Wallabin, Olaff Devork and Irictus Summorius Hampous (although, he ceased being one upon changing his identity.)

(1) fell' is usually accepted to be a shortened form of "fellow".

Citations: Azer Wallabin, Baby Alek, Daydream Believer.

--Trousle Undrhil 22:16, 8 Aug 2005 (EDT)