Djiknax Creation Manuscripts
- Teh huor of dooom is upon us all! Sargewoold Pedresq, yor mothre is s a nincomppoop!
And so began the greatest scholarly conflict in recent memory. This single sentence, poorly spelled but mercifully free of green-grocer's apostrophe's, sparked debate among everyone from the most respected Hive-Lord to the simplest nincompoops when it was first decoded. And with this sentence, the Djiknax Creation Manuscripts have risen from an obscure account of creation legends to the very epicenter of a scholarly ghyllquake. To date, more than 38 articles have been published in Quester and Phorrus concerning the manuscripts.
The documents themselves were written by an unknown (and rather guilt-stricken, judging from the amount of material on the Looliers) Exingian scribe in approximately -320 EC. The manuscripts are comprised of about thirty pages of handwritten parchment, including two title pages and one page entirely written over with a phrase that translates to "Hello, world." Since the scholars of the Bureau of Forgotten Knowledge have proven that each instance of this phrase was written with a different quill, many currently believe that this page was just used for testing nibs.
Although the manuscripts were first unearthed in -73 EC by the young Rancticirchiretic, he kept them in his private collection until -56 EC when he became president of the Bureau of Forgotten Knowledge. Thereupon, he turned the papers over to the regular pool of scholars and thought nothing of it until the Folktown Records published the headline "Djiknax Creation Hides Your Destruction: Teh huor of dooom is upon us all!" and Rancticirchiretic nearly choked on his breakfast. It turned out that a couple of interns from Bute University had decided to try Ser Malmiz's Clamorxian Decoding Method on the manuscripts as a lark, and had discovered the fateful sentence that was to mark scholarly history.
Various scholars, including a number of eminent encyclopedists, have proposed various explanations for the phrase. Many subscribe to the popular, but completely improbable, theory that claims that tehhuoro fdooom is some sort of "dark god" from "Out There" (italics most definitely not mine). As Blivingdel has so conclusively shown in issue XII of the Collegium Civitas' Library Journal, the dark god from Out There is named tehhuoro fdoooooooom, where each 'o' represents a significant aspect or trait of said god. Hence the spelling "tehhuoro fdooom" not only indicates a completely different, and up until now unheard of, god, it also indicates a god with not nearly enough power to actually make good on fulfilling the rest of the prophecy.
While many scholars, cowed by Blivingdel's unquestionable refutation of the dark god hypothesis, prefer to denounce the whole Djiknax Manuscripts find as "utter splakking hogwash," others realize that the true message of the manuscript lies in the ineffable number 4274049, which was also turned up in the Clamorxian decoding of the document. This number, sent to us from on high, is the true name of the Nitenmangrey god whose cranium forms the Sarfelogian Mountains. Unfortunately, this god has so long been associated with the arbitrary 47 that even multiple public-awareness campaigns and protests at Bute University have proven of little avail in recognizing the poor god's correct number.
Nevertheless, the public exposure has resulted in a widespread familiarity with the Djaknax Creation Manuscripts and the controversy surrounding them, even among the lay public. In fact, a recent installation in the Zaprosingfrink Gallery by a group of artists from the NeoPostAncientist school incorporated the fatal phrase "teh huor of dooom is upon us all!" written several thousand times in various substances and was signed "Sargewoold Pedresq's mothre."
--Lady Aleksandra 16:53, 10 Jun 2005 (EDT)