Iain Underholm Smallwood

From Ghyll
Revision as of 09:42, 20 May 2005 by Jcowan (Talk | contribs)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search

Iain Underholm Smallwood bore the title of Baron Smallwood, being the XVIIIth baron of his line, until he abdicated in the year -12 EC in favor of his nephew (or rather his nephew in law) Claude Lloyd Albert Smallwood, who thus became the XIXth and present baron.

Smallwood's parents, Roger Ululator and Alice Bob Charlie David Edward Smallwood, the XVIIth baroness, were extremely active in the revived Endlessly Rising Staircase Movement until Alice Bob came to grief in the Fundzherit Peninsula incident of accursed memory. Roger, consumed by his overwhelming emotions, resigned his membership and retired to an anchorite's cell in the Sarfelogian Mountains which had coincidentally become vacant on the same day.

Iain Smallwood's chief personal interests, on the other hand, lay in the field of horticulture. He was the first to use artificial fertilizers to restore the quality of the soil in the flower and herb gardens at Chez Smallwood, the family palazzo. As a consequence, the Smallwoods have been able to recoup modest amounts of their lost fortune through the sale of "Smallwood's Own Barbecue and Whipping Sauce", notorious as both a fiery comestible and a water-based lubricant.

Smallwood was murdered in -7 EC by an unidentified assailant who sprayed him with Adlorst wine and then threw Ball Lightning Liqueur over him. The resulting conflagration caused Smallwood to melt in front of bystanders. The assassin has (as of 0 EC) evaded capture, despite the extremely hefty reward of 50,000 Quezloos offered by his nephew for information leading, etc.

Citations: Baron Claude Lloyd Albert Smallwood, Chez Smallwood, Endlessly Rising Staircase Movement.

--John Cowan 17:16, 11 Nov 2004 (EST)

Personal tools