My dear Lady:
I regret to inform you that due to public health concerns the Committee for Epistemological Hygiene is unable to disclose any information about its members. I appreciate your interest in our work and only refer you to our letter to the editor to published in an upcoming issue of Quester and Phorrus regarding our research. Enclosed please find the copy of your article; I have merely made a few changes in accordance with our censoring policy. Thank you very much for your interest in our work; it is only with the support of concerned citizens such as yourself that we are able to preserve the populace from a daily menance.
Very truly yours,
CEH Authority, in response to request 218950
While serenely sipping my umlaut tea one Tuesday afternoon, I was unhappily startled from my reverie by the perusal of the above letter. I had just completed my draft of a most interesting article about the writer of the letter and was most disappointed by his response. Nevertheless, in accordance with the wishes of the estimable Jarvik Jarvik, I can do no more than offer to the prudent reader the draft, complete with his amendments.
Jarvik Jarvik, currently employed as a scholar for the Bureau of Forgotten Knowledge's Committee for Epistemological Hygiene, was born in undisclosable location in the year undisclosable date. He studied at one of Ghyll's most reputable universities, specializing in the study of undisclosable discipline. After graduating (well, all right, I suppose you may disclose this) as zenithorian, he began a poorly documented, but by all reports highly successful career in the Bureau of Forgotten Knowledge. While it is rumored that he had his differences with undisclosable name, the undisclosable position of undisclosable organization, he is currently in very good standing at the Bureau, and has risen to chair the Committee for Epistemological Hygiene. Jarvik Jarvik remains a very private person; little his known about his home-, or even for that matter his worklife.
--Lady Aleksandra 21:42, 29 Jul 2005 (EDT)