NeoPostAncientism

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NeoPostAncientism is either a clever and innovative school of artistic expression or a bunch of idiots who wouldn't know PROPER art if it bit them on the rear, depending on who you ask. Whichever the case, NeoPostAncientism is the wave of the future, and more and more artists every day are converting to this new style. The style represents a resurgance of the themes of PostAncientism, in which artists attempt to break free from the stylistic methods of their predecessors and create a new form of art that is completely and utterly unlike anything anyone has seen before. NeoPostAncientists combine usual mediums in new and unusual ways, such as Q. Turlingdrome's controversial "Sculpture in Rich Earth Clay and Whifflepeke", or find new mediums altogether, as in James Joojooflop Jones's "Horse", created with a single horse. Unlike other, more strictly defined art movements, such as Usingonlygreenpaintism, almost anything can be NeoPostAncientism, which explains why there is so much of it around these days.

Famous NeoPostAncientists

Famous NeoPostAncientists include:

  • The Sages, a group of artists who work together to create art that they claim is "entirely devoid of any kind of social commentary or symbolism whatsoever". Their most famous installation, entitled "Nincomppoop", was inspired by the Djiknax Creation Manuscripts and is currently on display at Zaprosingfrink Gallery. Since the creation of this piece, the group has been calling themselves "Sargewoold Pedresq's Mothre", although they have refused to say if the change is permanent.
  • Sherman Tdz, best known for his interactive, hands-on type pieces, specifically "Skin of Flame", in which a small white room is filled with burnflies. The viewer is invited to sit in the very center of the room and watch them fly around their head.
  • Bobby Shwarmph, although this is debatable. Unreliable sources claim that he was once known to have said that his magazine Aliens Everywhere is "Not so much a magazine, my good sirs, as a massive artistic project in which the very thoughts of the people themselves are my medium." If this is true, it would make Bobby Shwarmph perhaps the greatest NeoPostAncientist of them all. It would also make millions of subscribers feel very silly, but since they already are very silly, that isn't much of a problem.
  • D. R. Orerorer, although technically only a PostAncientist, sparked the NeoPostAncientist movement when his paintings were discovered hidden in the back of a cave in the Jorvyll mountains in -87 EC. The unusual shapes and designs inspired a resurgance and expansion of the PostAncientist movement, making D. R. Orerorer both the last PostAncientist and the first NeoPostAncientist. He is also the oldest NeoPostAncientist, since he was born in -212 EC and lived until -153 EC, when he died of advanced retrackets.

Deconstructing a Typical Painting

"Summer", by Q. Turlingdrome.

Here we have "Summer", by Q. Turlingdrome, a typical piece of the genre. Each individual element in the painting has its own significance, although taken together the whole thing loses any and all meaning, becoming totally random and abstract. Nevertheless, here I will attempt to explain the purpose - or lack thereof - of each symbol.

  • The Background: Most important in the background is the circle, which represents the sun. In Q. Turlingdrome's own words: "Why the sun? Why not the sun, sheesh? I happen to like the sun! It makes things warm." The sun is placed centrally within the painting, because that is the only place where it would fit.
  • Blivingdel: The stick-figure depiction of Blivingdel in the lower left corner is a reference to the original PostAncientism, which often used purposefully crude stick figures and earth tones to mock the earlier Ancientism movement. The fact that it is Blivingdel and not someone else, claims Turlingdrome, is of no importance.
  • The Runes: The odd series of shapes in the upper section of the painting is supposed to represent a series of runes that Q. Turlingdrome made up one day and rather liked. They occur in many of his other works as well.
  • The Splak: In the very upper left corner, Turlingdrome placed what is indeed a small pile of his own splak. The original painting does contain the k***, although it has been omitted from the above picture for the sake of our younger audience.
  • The Scratches: The lines are actually gouges that Q. Turlingdrome cut into his canvas and then painted over. "I wanted to make my artwork bleed", he explained, although he never mentioned why the blood should be red.
  • The Scribble: The small scribble in the upper right side of the painting is the address to the home of one of Turlingdrome's friends, which he wrote there while the painting was drying so that he wouldn't forget it later. Supposedly, he didn't have anything else to write on at the time.

NeoPostAncientism in Other Genres

NeoPostAncientism is an art form that transcends genres, in that it usually combines many different forms of art into one single artistic piece. However, most NeoPostAncientist pieces are more visual (and perhaps tactile) than anything else. One major exception is the quiver'n'bend band Turboduck, who have been experimenting more and more with unusual, NeoPostAncientist techniques in their music. This is also evident in their live concerts, which have recently been becoming more and more extravagantly visual.

Where can I go to see some NeoPostAncientism art?

Your best bet would be the Zaprosingfrink Gallery, which houses a number of NeoPostAncientist displays including a rather nice mobile from the DasMineGold Center for Azurian Inquiry.

Citations: Tertiary colors, Turboduck, Zaprosingfrink Gallery.

--Dfaran L'Eniarc 18:59, 25 Aug 2005 (EDT)

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