Quester and Phorrus

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Quester and Phorrus, which as the scholar Sean B. Palmer has said, is a classic journal, meaning a journal of the classics, I suppose, was founded by Frank "Quester" Phorrus and Elmo "Phorrus" Quester in -60 EC. That much is a fact, an indubitable fact. Just what the classics might be, however, is another matter altogether.

We can tell by reading the Index, available at better libraries everywhere, that by "the classics" is not meant the four classical subjects supposedly studied by the Brotherhood. This Index is issued biannually, meaning by that, of course, every two years, and not twice a year, which is correctly designated by the term "semiannually", not biannually, despite the fact that so many people just can't get this right for some reason. The magazine itself, as opposed to its Index, comes out five times a year, as everybody knows.

It's quite a coup to get an article published in Quester and Phorrus, although sometimes the coup is counted on the author rather than for him. So it goes. The subject matter of the articles varies from doveination to the Conflict That Is Not Happening to the Dŵplat recension of Bordingbras his hatt! I do not mean to suggest that lighter matters such as Bindlet Ball and Ghyllian reproduction are not covered as well; the important issue determining what goes into an issue, as you might say, is not the subject matter but rather the pompitous economic (or scholarly) tone.

Personally, the only part of Q & P I could stand to read was Doc Rockett's column, which started on the last page of each issue and worked its way forward, although it was not written right to left nor top to bottom, I hasten to assure you. And now that his sad demise has eventuated, I continue to subscribe for old times' sake, but basically it's straight from the mail slot to the compost heap, with perhaps a bit of teething exercise in between. On the other hand, if as they say Bysted is finally going to get a squib published soon, I'll be sure to be on the lookout for that particular issue to give it, as you might say, "special treatment".

Citations: Andelphracian Lights, Umlaut Tea, Vemish.

--John Cowan 21:01, 30 Jan 2005 (EST)

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