Rater Goldfish

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Born the 2nd of Jole, -95 EC, this famous Freege Horn artist is known primarily for the power of his performances. Rater Goldfish's career is quite unusual for a Freege Horn player, not only because his public debut was made at the ripe old age of 30, but also because he performed his own classical piece, Maw of the Chukarandos. The concert, which was performed for a very small audience on Po Mountain was said to be so impressive that the audience of two was quoted as saying they "... actually felt Ghyll move beneath our feet!" However, Goldfish is more well known for his jazz compositions, most notably Spank My Ass and Call Me Sally (aka The Foch Me Blues), The Dream of the Pink Aelfants, Pinky Over Cataract Road and Ghyllian Rhapsody. It is, of course, these jazz stylings that attracted the attention and eventual admiration of Whostley, the infamous 'Daver keys-man.


Before Goldfish turned professional, he participated in numerous jazz groups including Firebird Jazz Ensemble, The Iganefta City Jazz Band, and the Full Pinky Jazz Group. Interestingly enough, he was also a Modern Standard Ghyllian professor at the San Sebastian's First School of Folktown. It was here that he first was associated with the 'Daver. It's been said that Goldfish so loved the Freege Horn in the 'Daver that he named it Brian. No one is quite sure why he named it "Brian" instead of "Tryxie", which is his wife's name. Neither Goldfish nor his wife are willing to discuss the matter.

How Goldfish Got His Name

Rater Goldfish is, of course, not his real name, but a stage name. He got his stage name from his band mates when he showed up for practice in his Bindlet Ball Booster's Sweater, which was a bright orange with thread of gold. The poor chap was running late and came through the doors to the rehearsal hall with such velocity that one of his mates made the comment "Good gravy, Gordo, you look like a bloody Rater Goldfish!" The name stuck.

Some Fun Facts About Rater Goldfish

  • He was also a Bindlet Ball coach at the San Sebastian's First School of Folktown.
  • He has traveled to the Xurient, where he studied yugoodicki breathing techniques which help both his playing and his sexual prowess.
  • His eyes are "nothing like the sun". (Which was his response when a fan asked what color they really were.)
  • He stole his wife from a band mate.
  • He prefers his toast done on one side.
  • His real name is Gordon Matteaus Summerprick.

Citations: Freege Horn, Whostley, Xurient.

--Doctor Phineas Crank 15:36, 6 Feb 2005 (EST)

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