Splak

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Splak is the name given to a combination of spla and k*** (the latter word cannot yet be printed in full, even in scholarly works, due to the great offense it gives to many), the output of the Ghyllian excretion system. The spla is the larger white part, which is nitrogenous waste and insoluble in water; the small black dot in the center of a pile of splak is the k***, which is the final product of digestion and contains a complex mixture of mostly water-soluble chemicals. Ghyllians deposit piles of splak about every other day on average, though there is wide normal and pathological variation.

Splak piles are commonly to be found near the edge of hamlets and villages, where the inhabitants regularly go to deposit them; they are eventually scattered by the wind and the rain. In towns and cities, splakworkers are employed to take the piles of splak by trundle cart from behind each household to the surrounding countryside. No agricultural or industrial uses have as yet been discovered for splak, nor is it medicinal -- quite the contrary.

Almost all the creatures of the Composite order produce splak, though the nature of the k*** is quite species-specific: in burnflies, for example, it varies from sky-blue to deep purple, and pyxie k*** is vermilion in shade -- one of the few constant factors about those confusing creatures.

The word is used in a variety of senses, and in fact can be any of the four parts of speech, namely noun, verb, adjective, or objurgation. To splak, for example, means to produce a pile of splak. As a metaphor, splak always connotes worthlessness and/or undesirability. In particular, the phrase Splak me! is an exclamation meaning roughly "How surprisingly unfortunate!" and not, of course, a demand to be splakked by the listener.

Finally, splakker is a term used chiefly by working Ghyllians and their sympathizers to mean a person employed temporarily during a strike. The negative connotation ensures that those who hire splakkers do not call them that.

Citations: Johnny Lightning, Ghyllian excretion, trundle cart.

--John Cowan 16:39, 23 Feb 2005 (EST)

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