Talk:Bobby Shwarmph

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Revision as of 23:41, 11 September 2004 by Qwentyth Pyre (Talk | contribs)
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Sorry, I'm new to this- Am I even close?

--Bast ResNovae

Hi there! Welcome to Ghyll and thanks for taking the time to play, etc. Your entry is a pretty good one (I'm being consistentl surprised by the outstanding quality of random players that've stumbled across Ghyll--may I ask where you found out about it from?), but of course there are quite a few little things that I'm able to nitpick at.

For a start, though the name "Izzy Eddard" is hilarious, we try to avoid earth parodies as much as possible. Though it's certainly in keeping with the feel of many of the current Ghyll names, and indeed follows a pattern similar to "Morphous Ibb" in Quezlarian Numerals, it'd be nice if you could think of something equally as hilarious but without the earth parody overtones.

Secondly, since "Folktown Records edition 419 was issued on -5/12/8 EC" according to my little script, that means that FR must've commented on his disappearance before he disappeared, which is course is rather inconsistent. You might want to use the online script linked above to find an FR edition after -4/7/22 that suits your tastes. Remember that due to the dates being negative, -4 comes after -5. It is a bit confusing; sorry!

By "aurosociology" I presume you meant AuroAnthropology, and though I wasn't sure, I corrected it anyway. You can check out all of the little copyediting changes I made (argh, actually the diff sucks so it'll be difficult for you to find them). The one thing that I wasn't able to do is pick your citations for you. According to the rules, you have to refer to one existing entry, and two new "phantom" entries. It's up to you to select which ones you want to link, so I'm leaving it down to you. Check out the bottom of all of the existing entries for the letter "b" as examples of what kind of thing we'd like. Don't forget to link to any existing entries and phantoms where you can in the main body of your entry, though the admins (including me) can do this for you once you've picked which citations you like. Also, please sign all your works using the signature button in the editing toolbar: it's the second one in from the right.

Also, who is "Glynn"? He's mentioned only once in the article and not explained. You spelled "Shwarmph" wrong a couple of times too, which is probably not a good thing as you're writing an article on him! At least you're not writing Supetupheraraphes...

It's funny that the entry I'm about to post also invented a currency system (that's intrinsic to one of the jokes of the entry), and one that's named quite similarly to yours. Since yours doesn't seem to be intrinsic to the meaning of the entry, I've renamed it [currency] for now, and will fill it in with my own when I've published it, for consistency. If you really, really want to use the original name, please let me know (or simply edit it back) so that we can discuss which one to use.

So all in all, very good effort, but needs a bit more tweaking from you. And welcome again to Ghyll!

--Sean B. Palmer 23:31, 11 Sep 2004 (EDT)


Welcome Bast! I agree with Sean, an excellent entry on to the scene of Ghyll. Hmmm... Sean is introducing a currency system, and I just introduced a set of day and month names to work with the existing calender... this should be fun. Hope to be seeing more from you Bast. Feel free to add commentary to the end of other folk's entries if you'd like. Just remember that comments aren't "binding" upon the world, while actual entries are. --Qwentyth Pyre 00:41, 12 Sep 2004 (EDT)

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