So when I was at Bute, actually in one of its lesser-known subsidiaries, I had a test coming up about the Twin Governments of wherever. I say wherever because I wasn't paying all that much attention really: I was far more interested in my room-mate's girlfriend's sister, Horglia. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that she was endowed, if you know what I mean. In other words, she had the most amazing personality ever.
So yeah, the test. It was well into the dark hours of the night and I'd been wooing Horglia, as you do, and just before we were about to crash for the night I thought I'd better ask the Trackster (my room-mate) what the haps was on the whole twin government thing. I recorded the conversation since we were allowed to bring audionotes to the exam, and the following is a transcription:
Sean: Yo, Trackster, dude, check it out. Totally recording you!
Trackster: What. Why are you doing that.
Sean: Oh, I need audio notes for the exam tomorrow. I did spend three hours helping you with your Whingelism essay a couple of days ago, don't forget.
Trackster: Ahahaha, yeah dude, that was funny shit man. "Parallelisation is non-optimal."
Sean: Loelz. Yeah, that was a good one.
Trackster: Okay, twin governments. So the twin governments of... man, what's that town name again?
Trackster: Well anyway, the disagreement was about how you pronounce that town name, so it's probably important that you find that out.
Sean: Nah, who cares. What else was cool about the governments?
Trackster: Well... I think they had some cute chicks on one of the boards.
Sean: Females with exquisite personalities, you mean?
Trackster: You know it, dude.
Sean: Right on my man! [Secret handshake noises.]
Trackster: Yeah. Cute chicks.
Sean: Trackster, man, you're going into a chick trance. Break out, man! Snap out of it!
Trackster: Whuh? Uh, oh, heh. Thanks. Damn those boardies were fine as shit though man, I tell ya.
Sean: Wait, how do you know this?
Trackster: One of them wrote lumics with my father!
Sean: No way dude!
Sean: You are so shitting me!
Trackster: Not even, dude!
Trackster: Dude, man!
Sean: Fucking dude!
Trackster: I know!
Sean: So... did you do her?
Trackster: Oh come off it!
Sean: No, seriously! I can't imagine a hot chiquezor coming within a few feet of you and her not being... endeared to your personality, shall we say?
Trackster: Oh man.
Trackster: Come off it, dude!
Sean: It's not like you to be embarrassed about this sort of thing. Did she turn out to be a dude or something?
Trackster: Ew, dude, gross man.
Sean: Bwahahaha. [a beat] Well?
Trackster: Nah, she was just a bit fucked up is all.
Trackster: Well, she liked doing stuff. You know. With my WDD.
Sean: She liked doing stuff with your Wang Dang Doodle? Man, I guess I don't really wanna go there.
Trackster: If only she'd said the same thing. Loelz!
Sean: Loelz! Ahahaha.
Sean: Dude! Heheh.
Trackster: So anyway, yeah, the trip to the hospital wasn't nice.
Sean: What? She overplayed with your "personality", ifya know what I mean? Honk, honk, honk.
Trackster: Honk, honk!
Trackster: No, my dad came in and was like, son, you are going to be beaten on this day, for you have transgressed against my woman-partner. And I'm like dad, you're shitting me, right? We're always sharing your whores!
Trackster: Anyway, that's when she hit me with a steam iron.
Sean: Woah dude.
Trackster: Yeah. Got me right on the fucking WDD.
Sean: No, I mean, dude!
Trackster: But yeah, it hurt like splak for like a year.
Trackster: She was mighty fine hot though.
Anyway, at that point in the tape Horglia comes in the room and the conversation takes a turn towards the mad rutty, so I guess what I'm saying is that I passed the test anyway which just goes to prove that there is really nothing that anyone needs to know about the twin governments of wherever.
--Sean B. Palmer 12:18, 7 October 2005 (EDT)
I must say, you didn't exactly exert yourself in researching for this article, did you? I mean, you didn't exactly, you know, SAY anything about twin governments, did you? One would expect that in an encyclopedia article about twin governments, the author might have a thing or two to say about twin governments. Pretty crazy notion, I know. --Dfaran L'Eniarc 23:34, 8 October 2005 (EDT)
- Even crazier might be to actually read the article which explains in no uncertain terms that there is nothing to know about said governments. --Sean B. Palmer 08:15, 9 October 2005 (EDT)
- Ah, but then why bother writing an article on twin governments in the first place? I've got you there! --Dfaran L'Eniarc 13:51, 9 October 2005 (EDT)
- Au contraire! It doesn't matter who wrote it in terms of content; presumably we would have all written exactly the same thing, which is that "nothing of interest is known about the Twin Governments". So it comes down to who could write about absolutely nothing with the most style, the most panache, the most retrochic brilliance. Which would be you--but since you'd already dibbed Tuckagotcha, I decided to boast about Horglia instead. --Sean B. Palmer 17:58, 9 October 2005 (EDT)
I'd like to hear more about the board ladies, please. --Morbus Iff 20:20, 9 October 2005 (EDT)