Underuse

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The Underuse is another ingenious step in the "Enemy Without Within" machinations of the Xurient, some 231 leles east of Egron. Unlike the needy "virtual pet" Tuckagotcha, which trained the owner how to care for and be subservient to their future automaton masters, the Underuse utilizes a much more passive conquest techique: comfort. It accomplishes this two ways:

  • Underuse are incredibly snug, caressing but with coverage -- the wearer is entreated to a sense of freedom. It eventually becomes apparent that movement ruins "the moment", and doggerel about "stop, drop, and enjoy" flits daintily through the loins of content (Uhh... --Burgengute). Our local attempts at replicating these miracles of undergarmentry always suffer from sweating, itchiness, or (occasionally sexy) bunching of the fabric.
  • Addressing the young in all of us, all Underuse are printed with popular characters from lumics, stories, and folklore. Some designs, such as Fijjit Mejora and the various types of Tuckagotchas have proven very popular and often fetch high prices on the Back Market. Others, such as the Egron Eagle, have failed to reach critical mass. Since Underuse are rarely seen except by those intimate with the wearer, it becomes easier for older Ghyllians to accept the "immaturity" of wearing such "childish" things. Memories of days past do tug the strongest.

Dr. B. J. Spook had a bit to say about Underuse in his Brown Basics tome:

If your young doesn't look forward to the joys of his daily toilet training, there are a few home-remedies before it becomes necessary to seek my professional consultation. First, investigate their undergarments. Do they have imagery that the young identifies, or wants to identify, with? Does your young put up a fight everytime you try to remove the undergarment for proper evacuation? Has your young made new friends at school, but won't tell you details about them?
If so, don't fret - this is no fault of your own. Your young, either on their own accord or through peer pressure, has been wearing Underuse. I admit, though embarrassed, that I've worn them too. Your young is basking in their incredible comfort, and anything that stops this joy (even for the magic of toilet training!) is considered a threat. Simply find and send all your young's Underuse to the address printed on the back of this book. Look carefully... our young are remarkably adept at hiding things! After being re-acquainted with their standard wear, your young will once again be receptive to training!

Citations: Toilet training, Tuckagotcha, Xurient.

--Morbus Iff 12:11, 18 Mar 2005 (EST)

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