Aliens Everywhere

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Aliens Everywhere! magazine was established in -55 EC by Bobby Shwarmph in what he has been quoted as saying is an effort to "misinform the aliens and inform the people". However, no distinction has been made about what is misformation and what is useful information. This is not a problem for the magazine's readers, as they believe that the true content of the magazine can only be understood by someone of the Ghyllian races and who has been a subscriber for five years or more.

Publication

Aliens Everywhere! is a widely read publication, enjoying a readership of 100,000 subscribers and 300,000 "bloody leeches" who read it on the newsstand. It is published weekly, on shepskin paper, in tabloid format. All copies are delivered personally by a short, balding, funny looking, limping man named Gippie who has been the magazine's only distributor since its establishment.

History

Aliens Everywhere! has played a vital role in exposing aliens and alien activity. In its first issue, subtitled "Don't read this.", it made journalism history by naming the homeworld of all aliens, namely the hollow center of Ghyll named Down There. In another groundbreaking story, Aliens Everywhere! forced the Paramount Queen of -7 EC to step down after showing conclusive proof in photographic format that she was, in fact, from Down There and only taking the shape of someone Xuriental. Not being of a race acceptable (e.g. unknown) to the contest, she had to step down.

Famous Personalites

Many famous personalities have once worked at Aliens Everywhere!, most notably its founder and editor, Bobby Shwarmph, who hasn't been seen since -4 EC. Another famous personality is the Daydream Believer, who is the double-headed star reporter known for talking in the third person and sometimes reponding to his own questions. Yet another is his second head, known as Head Deux, who owns his own small publication about juggling small animals, called appropriately enough, Juggling Small Animals.

Citations: Bobby Shwarmph, Daydream Believer, Down There.

--Tobaine 23:11, 13 May 2005 (EDT)


I must object to the line about the Paramount Queen of -7 EC. She is clearly said to have been Xuriental. It was her being covered in brown fluid that so shocked public opinion, not your story. --John Cowan 14:31, 17 May 2005 (EDT)

If we establish that you are a book seller, and then I run up and cover you in creame pie, take a picture, and say you're a baker to "prove" my article in Aliens Everywhere!, that doesn't make you a baker - it merely makes rationale for my delusional rantings in article form (a tactic certainly use in some of our more illustrious Encyclopedia submissions, I'd think). Alternatively, if she was born in the Xurient of Down There parents, she'd be "from" both. You had to admit, though, if the brown fluid is from Down There, and a person was found covered in it, it doesn't take a lot of conspiratorial leaps to put one and one together to write an article scandalous enough to make her lose the crown. Of course, that's not the case with me. I'm no alien. Stop staring. Seriously. --Morbus Iff 14:39, 17 May 2005 (EDT)

While we are discussing this magazine, I must put in a complaint. I have been subscribed to this magazine and I have not yet received any issues of it. Is this a fictional magazine, of which I have been 'duped', as they say? And being covered in creame pie *can* make a person into a baker, at least for the time during which they are covered in said creame pie, since being covered in said creame pie would tend to make one get a little upset and cook the creame pie filling, due to the excess heat released from the body while the covered person is covered with said creame pie. --Trousle Undrhil 00:09, 23 May 2005 (EDT)

That doesn't make you a baker, that makes you an oven. --Dfaran L'Eniarc 17:41, 25 Aug 2005 (EDT)
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