Cataclysmatology

From Ghyll
Jump to: navigation, search

Cataclysmatology is the study and measure of cataclysmic events. While this might seem like a dangerous field to be studying, what with the usual outcome of cataclysmic events, it is actually a relatively boring subject. Granted, the early history is filled with Cataclysmic Events; almost one every other day. Recent history hasn't been so unfortunate. The most recent event of note for cataclysmatologists was in -20 EC when Pelon Peak erupted, nearly destroying the town of Ellensworth.

A Cataclysmic Event is defined as "any event which has the outcome of destroying or nearly destroying a large area of land or property." In -306 EC, Arthir Jhostings discovered that, just before an event of such magnitude that it could be considered cataclysmic, there is a calm feeling in everyone, even those normally uncalm. Shortly after one such of those calm feelings, a space rock fell to the ground near Folktown and caused the death of 15 children who had been playing happily in the fields. Once the event had passed, everyone went back to their previous state of calm or non-calm, as the case may have been. In -305 EC, Mr. Jhostings wrote a paper on the events from the previous year and coined the term cataclysmatology as his new field of study.

Most theoalchemists have studied some bit of cataclysmatology as a background to their theoalchemy, though only the timing portions and not the varied signs by which to tell an event, as noted by Mr. Jhostings. During his first tour, Mr. Jhostings recruited some 30 scholars into his field, while talking about cataclysmatology and the differences it holds to cataclysmatonomy. By -300 EC, there were more than 50 cataclymatologists under the tutelege of Mr. Jhostings.

Cataclysmatonomy is actually the theoretical study of Cataclysmic Events. It's full of "what ifs" and "maybes" but no real solid facts. Cataclysmatology, on the other hand, is backed by any recorded facts which can be located. Cataclysmatonomy has had a good number of followers, but most of them discover that Cataclysmatology is what they really want to be studying and switch over. Those who do continue to study that field are rather good at what they do -- we have had emergency plans in place for each and every one of a supposed Cataclysmic Event. The events themselves range from the drastic (ie. Pinky and Perky suddenly and violently becoming one celestial object) to the boring (ie. Pinky and Perky suddenly and violently staying right where they are) to the silly (ie. Pinky and Perky getting renamed to Moon and Satellite.)

In his second paper, The Study of Cataclysms and Their Causes, Mr. Jhostings wrote about the history of our planet and what many events might have befallen it in the past. Through his studies, he made note of more than 100 individual events which happened between -2200 EC and -2000 EC, the most recent of which was in -2004 EC and involved a house exploding for no apparent reason. Apparently, no one was killed in the explosion, but the house and surrounding buildings were destroyed completely.

In -284 EC, in his third and final paper, The Brief Event, Mr. Jhostings detailed the creation of our world as the briefest cataclysmic event ever. He was summarily martyred for heresy that same year and only one copy of his final paper has ever been maintained, currently being housed in the Bureau of Forgotten Knowledge under strict lock and key. Many of Mr. Jhostings students went on to discover more Cataclysmic Events of the past and maintained his teachings. The number of contemporary cataclysmatologists numbers in the thousands.

The most recent cataclysmatology paper, written in -19 EC, talks about the eruption of Pelon Peak and was titled The Last Great Event So Far, author unknown.

Citations: Bureau of Forgotten Knowledge, Ellensworth, Folktown.

--Trousle Undrhil 17:48, 30 May 2005 (EDT)

Personal tools