Cornover Reflex Syndrome
Cornover Reflex Syndrome, also known as the Weeby Jeeby Calezone Syndrome, is a phenomenon commonly (but rarely the actual cause, at least in the eyes of leading occultologists) associated with the place-switching of Pinky and Perky. This irregularity is most commonly believed to be caused by any minute lapse in celestial alignment with explosive consequences to calculations of Speedish Chefs by large. The first known event occurred in -201 EC when the Speedish Chef Heinrich Cornover was attempting to bake a highly powerful calezone made with Zhur Fruit extract. The Articulary Motion of the moons suddenly changed the theoalchemical fuel circuits in his stove, causing them to turn the calezone into a living thing. The calezone showed no signs of life or Alchemical Intelligence until he was served, and then proceeded to scream in pain and swear repeatedly when poked with a fork, finally exploding into a pile of brown fluid. The calezone's remains were found to have developed several male internal organs, hence the use of the term "he." The rumors about his insulting the chef and then counting down before he blew up were not verifiable. One local poet (Algothequinas, -237 EC to -97 EC) recounts the tale as such:
Oh the Calezone did weeble, the intestine did Jeeble,
The Zhur fruit did wobble and sway,
Thus Cornover 'Twas cursed, like a sausage bratwurst,
As the meat did ne'er fly far away.
There have since been seven hundred other reports of Cornover Reflex Syndrome, none of which had to do with the Cornover family. Heinrich, sadly, swore off cooking and later threw himself into a river. His talent was an exceptional loss because of one uncontrollable fluke. The cooking world now calls any major disaster involving the culinary arts as "Cornover's Curse," but the actual technical term "syndrome" is only applied to the reanimation of food meant to be dead.
--Theophenes 21:13, 2 Jun 2005 (EDT)