Iganefta, the name brings to mind so much.
"The twin cities of Iganefta and Iganefta-on-the-Sea are the southernmost 'civilized' settlements on Ghyll," so says a travel brochure, but the younger twin (Iganefta-on-the-Sea) is actually found in the west. Iganefta-on-the-Sea is a unique abode and is dealt with in its own entry of this most useful publication. It is Iganefta proper that will be dealt with in these pages. Most famous as the southern terminus of the Cataract Road, Iganefta is a brisk two lele walk from the Azura Mines and a mere 120 lele east of the infamous mountaineering challenge, Mount Yurch. In fact, Iganefta has hosted so many ill-fated expeditions to Mount Yurch that the locals often refer to it as The Grim Mr. Yurch.
Iganefta has been called a "City of Settlements" by her native scholars due to the inclusive nature of her growth. The original "Old City" has existed since at least -400 EC though records of the general area during that time are scant and somewhat vague. Iganefta has grown steadily since her founding, swallowing smaller settlements, often without their consent. It has been suggested by certain hyper-conservative political wags that, at the current rate of encroachment, the roughly 30 lele of rough terrain between Iganefta and Iganefta-on-the-Sea will vanish in a few short years.
Originally Iganefta was a loose confederation of settlements (Iganefta Settlement being the largest) but, in the year -260 EC, Lord Fredrick Paul Glosfordshier took control of the already established Iganefta Council and declared himself Lord-Mayor of Iganefta. At first there was a bit of resistance to his new ideas for governance, but since Lord Glosfordshier had already started the First Iganeftan Mercenary Company, the political winds quickly blew elsewhere. After his successful succession to the Lord-Mayorship, he promptly ordered the construction of a "summer retreat" by the sea, this became known as Iganefta-on-the-Sea.
Today Iganefta is known far and wide as the Belly-Jewel of the South.
The ruling body politic of Iganefta is the Council of Lords. Prior to the coming of Lord Glosfordshier, the Council of Iganefta was ruled by a conglomeration of Theophanes, Sub-Theophanes and Counters who were selected from the then existent Settlements. These men and women came from the nobility accustomed to a life of leadership and leisure; their education was comprised mostly of battle training, spitting contests, and the two degrees of counting (important for land-owners at that time). They lived on estates which were attached to one or another of the Settlements. Manor life during this period included such activities as puking, spitting, fielding, and managering. It was the Despot Glosfordshier who inaugerated the office of Lord-Mayor which survives to this day, but whereas it once held great power, today the Lord-Mayor is relegated to opening the summertime Free Fair and presiding over municipal banquets. The office also has, for the reigning royal family, the fringe benefit of holding the herald of the Furious Apple (a perk for those with a thing for heraldic devices).
The defensive force behind the Council of Lords is the city guard known far and wide as the Iganeftan Pickers who march under the banner of the Furious Apple. The men behind the apple have been seen on many a battlefield during the Conflict That Is Not Happening. The pride which this appellation has created in the troops has become so ingrained in Iganeftan consciousness that the name continues to survive today, carried proudly by the local Iganeftan bindlet ball team. Even the accusation that the entire Conflict is merely a trade war instituted by the Grommies to keep high the prices of Altoxian Bulb stock has not diminished the renown of Iganeftan mercenary troops.
The people of Iganefta can be distinguished by classes: nobles being one and "upper" or "Adrizian" being another, of course, the majority of folk belong to the working class, the lower class, and least of all, the outclassed. Of note amongst the people of Iganefta is the House Grommie and the person of Thureau Grommie (currently the most powerful person in town).
The legal system of Iganefta is recognizable in other towns and villages even though it has been uniquely influenced by the personal tastes of Lord Glosfordshier. The introduction and import, in –207 EC, of the Codex RealAxe also has played a part in the development of Iganeftan legal practice. Street justice still reigns supreme but the more elite inhabitants do have access to the local Adjudicator, Protector, and Persecutor.
As the Southernmost end-point of the Cataract Road, Iganefta is afforded countless economic opportunities that lesser cities are denied. Iganefta's size, wealth and location make it an ideal stop for DermPachyges, which also enables this living, pulsing, growing metropolis to prosper beyond initial expectations. Iganefta is most famous as the birth-place of the Altoxian Bulb and, as such, has a thriving Altoxian Bulb industry. This is aided, of course, by the proximity of the Azura Mines, which provide the steadiest source of the bioluminescent gel which is the main ingredient in Altoxian Bulb creation. The mines produce the raw material for much more than just bulbs - the most abundant ore is oooite, and DasMineGold continues to research other uses for the material. This is a good thing as the bulb industry has also brought its share of problems to Iganefta, mainly in the form of the trade war between the Altoxian bulb makers and those of the Andelphracian Lights in the Evesque Valley - a trade war which many claim is part and parcel of the Conflict That Is Not Happening.
Also a part of the trade-life of Iganefta is TransAvian. Though having its fair share of ups and downs, this fixture of Iganeftan life has proved (since -50 EC) to be a viable alternative to the pachyderm couriers. Though the original shop has been sold off to the Gweddill Fluffett company, the new business is even now re-emerging as a trading force.
As far as the trade of tourism, an important company is the Mount Yurch Climbers. With advertisements throughout the countryside, it is said that thousands of tourists come to Iganefta every month presumably to climb the mountain, and Iganeftan tradesmen and merchants sell and barter millions of souvenirs. Inhabitants of Iganefta, however, don't make the climb themselves; they look with scorn on the climbers, but are ever open to pocketing their ooo. But even beyond the reach of Mr. Yurch is the reach of Grommetia Limited, the family company of the Grommies. This business includes the local casino, a theme park, and entertainment halls (and that is only within the boundaries of Iganefta proper). The most well-known Grommie asset is the Iganefta Recorder, the leading news journal of the greater Iganefta region.
Iganefta is also a leader in military technology. In addition to maintaining mercenary companies of various sizes and specialities, their development of Ball Lightning Liqueur as a powerful weapon has brought quite a bit of renown to Iganeftan experimental laboratories. Currently, there are several projects in the works with the goal of refining Ball Lightning Liqueur into a self-contained incendiary. It is hoped that this will one day erase the stain on their reputation for having hosted the creator of the dreaded Gravion Process.
The Trade War
Begun in the -50s EC with the machinations of Meldersen, the local trade war now is mainly between those who favor one or the other of the two primary sources of art'ficial lumination: Altoxian Bulbs and Andelphracian Lights. Over time the divisions and the secret and not-so-secret pummelings that supporters and detractors have given each other has resulted in an increased military development. Mercenary companies are now regularly maintained outside of Iganefta and numerous laboratories exist whose sole purpose is to develop new forms of buggery and ballyhoo, as well as develop a self-contained form of Ball Lightning Liqueur. As to the connection between the Trade War and the Conflict That Is Not Happening, this is only speculation and a spur of contention between far too many for me to make any comments at this time.
Currently, Iganefta's most famous residents come from the Family Grommie, collectively known as the Grommies. The Grommie name first appears in Iganefta in -153 EC and the family currently owns Iganefta's only local news daily, the Iganefta Recorder. The most powerful Grommie residing in Iganefta today is Thureau Grommie, who received a family fortune amassed by his father and grandfather, Rikkard and Daffid Grommie, respectively. The family denies any connection to the more scurrilous history of smuggling associated with old money in Iganefta-on-the-Sea, and Thureau has the connections in the Iganefta government to make that the official history.
Other well-known residents of Iganefta include:
Agwa Reeum: the infamous translator of the Grimporke Grimoire.
Doc Rockett: S. J. "Doc" Rockett was a highly successful and exceptionally prolific writer, best known for his works of popularized scholarship for the lay Ghyllian. Rocket moved to Iganefta with his family when he was three, but was so enamoured with the twin cities that he never left again; born -86 EC, died -4 EC.
Godfroi Hasawithe: the "Sage of Nininger" was briefly a resident of the twin cities when he came to work for Baron James Horkmanifester where he learned and followed Horkmanifester's investment rules. Interestingly enough, his own fame eclipsed that of his mentor who is hardly ever mentioned outside of Hasawithe biographies.
Harv Gretborn: the infamous theoalchemist and inventor whose creations include the Snotgun, the Fountain Spray, the Blue Ice, and, of course, his infamous Gravion Process. Gretborn's famous "invention laboratory" was roughly halfway between the twin cities of Iganefta and Iganefta-on-the-Sea.
Professor Altoxian: Inventor of the Altoxian Bulb.
Lord Fredrick Paul Glosfordshier: original Lord-Mayor of Iganefta and High-Chairman of the Iganeftan Council.
The Wapsipinicon Family: Barb Sipin (Matriarch), Lord Earl - Second Lord-Mayor of Iganefta, and Lady Nadia - Widow Lord-Mayor Wapsipinicon (Third Lord-Mayor)
Lord Mayor Geoffrey Prepuce
There is popular lore that in the prehistory of the late days of the Third Millenium BEC there lived a family named Iganefta. In the year –2005 EC these Iganeftans came to a village named Zavini, recently constructed by a northern family by that same name. For no known reason the Iganeftans murdered the Zavinis, began to live in their now deserted homes and renamed the village Iganefta.
Historically speaking, the "Old City" district of Iganefta is known to have existed since at least -400 EC. The City of Settlements in this 5th Century BEC was simply a loose confederation. Though records during that time are known to not be exact, to surmise a history reaching back another 1500 years can be hard to swallow.
By the Third Century BEC there were thirteen Settlements, which included Iganefta, Treadleville, and Aghquabamticook. This "City" was ruled over by the Iganeftan Council, the Council whose Hall was built within the Settlement of Iganefta. This City was not a peaceful place. The Settlements had each their own soldiery, the noble families had their own guardsmen, and there were gangs of freemen (young and younger) who roamed the streets of the settlements; they were known and feared especially during the –270s and –260s. There were, however, a few hopeful developments such as the election of Odgar IV to the post of rejah in an eastern settlement, but even though his presence did have some immediate effect on the peoples of his jurisdiction, it did not prevent the horror that would come. It is said the inability of the Rejahs to affect said gangs and the ineptitude of the Iganeftan Council to get rid of them led to the –260 EC coup by Paul Glosford.
[NOTICE: The following history of the Despot of Iganefta has only recently been released to the public; this is a result of assiduous research by many scholars using many resources, most important being the writings of York of Brahang; even unto -1 EC our peoples were used to the picture of Lord Glosfordshier as a pretty nice guy who was misunderstood by some crazy Safetyists, here follows a more truthful understanding of what really occurred: READER BEWARE]
The First Iganeftan Mercenary Company was established by Paul Glosford when he simply renamed his street gang. His use of the thugs to take control of the Iganeftan Council resulted in momentous changes in the life of the City of Settlements, most importantly being that the majority of tween gangs were wiped out, a great number of yuet gangs were absorbed, and Glosford became head-honcho in the City of Settlements.
Usually named Those Terrible Eight Years by local loremasters, the reign of Lord Fredrick Paul Glosfordshier was highlighted by beatings, bleatings, murders, and cronyism. Glosfordshier entitled himself Lord-Mayor of Iganefta. As to the Reign of Glosfordshier, he is mainly remembered for constructing his "summer retreat" and for remaking some of the prevailing political bodies in the Settlements, staffing them with his people from the First Iganeftan Mercenary Company.
During the Despot's reign, the nobles and the merchants each began conspiring against him. The nobles did not want to lose their way of life, though their main aim was to reduce his power, not get rid of him. The merchants, as history shows, had only one aim in mind: to kill the son of a grub! After the matrimonial creation of the Wapsipinicon Family in –258 EC, maneuvers against the Despot grew, but most were ineffectual. It wasn’t until the merchant class had had enough of the Dictator that they joined together in an ad hoc Committee of Public Safety and murdered him, in –252 EC.
With the Despot dead, the nobility and the merchants met and, after some discussion and not a few fights, came to create the Committee of Canons. This committee, comprised of one-half nobleman and one-half merchant, worked for over six months to write a document that would both allow for the governing of the City of Settlements and allay any fears of future coups. By –251 EC a new and revised Constitution of the Settlement Peoples was drafted and accepted. It did not abolish all the changes which Glosford had instituted when he became the first Lord-Mayor, but it did modify and reduce the power that said Lord-Mayor would control. The first Decree of the new Council was to elect Theophane Earl Wapsipinicon to the post of Lord-Mayor of Iganefta. The second Decree was to dismember the now stinking corpse of Glosford and display large pieces of it in the thirteen Settlements as well as place his head in the Council Hall as an omen to any would-be dictator.
From -252 to -247 EC Wapsipinicon devoted his time to dealing with the corrupt practices of the guilds (made legal by Glosfordshier but not seen as very nice by Wapsipinicon), to calming various nobles who wanted to ignore the effects of Glosfordshier and begin the year –260 EC all over again, and to trying to do something with the Guards of Iganefta. The -249 EC eruption of the Extraordinarily Bloodless Revolution allowed the Lord-Mayor to send the bored-and-ready-to-bite soldiery away (at least temporarily). They marched under the banner of the Furious Apple (which was now symbol of the sitting royal family of Wapsipinicon) and sang songs to the Dictator Glosfordshier (who was dead). The apple was so common a sight on the proud chests of mercenary troops during the Revolution in Threel that the Iganeftan soldiers became known as Pickers, short for "apple-pickers".
In –247 EC the Folktown-to-Iganefta Causeway was completed. Wapsipinicon decided to take this moment to go on holiday in Iganefta-on-the-Sea; when he did, the Matriarch of the faimly took the reigns. The Barb of Iganefta's most public enemy was Odgar IV, though she never referred to him as an enemy. The Rejah was completely Folktown-centric and attempted to force new institutions upon Iganefta, but this never worked out. It was while the Lord-Mayor was in Thungerbarg that Rejah Odgar claimed the Court and Parliament of Folktown as his source of authority, quite an odd claim for a man living in Iganefta! After claiming the right to call upon the Folktown Militia, many wondered if a war between Iganefta and Folktown would ensue, but nothing ever came of it.
In –239 EC Rejah Odgar died. Much is ballyhooed about the "roving minstrel" who was the last to see the Rejah alive but to this day no one has ever gotten the minstrel's side of the story. After the death, the two towns of Iganefta and Folktown went their unconnected ways. The Council dismantled Odgar's Settlement courthouse and elected to quash the post of rejah from that Settlement altogether. The entire Settlement was subsequently partitioned among its neighboring Settlements and its name was stricken from the Roll (hence its "nameless" status to this day).
Even before the partitioning of the nameless settlement Wapsipinicon and the Council had seen neighborhood dissolvement. In -240 EC the leaders of the suburb of Stindersgrough engaged in such a grand debacle that they chose to migrate out of the settlement and out of the jurisdiction of the whole city. The leaders of the suburb, the families and all their homes, markets and outhouses were soon uprooted, beam by beam, brick by brick; and each month saw the "town" move farther and farther from Iganefta. The people of Stindersgrough are even today still on the move.
In –238 EC, while Lord-Mayor Earl Wapsipinicon was again in Thungerbarg on holiday, he died. The populace of Iganefta then elected his wife Nadia to the post of Lord-Mayor. For the next five years Nadia Wapsipinicon served as leader to Iganefta furthering her husband’s name and was known as the Widow Lord-Mayor.
By -190 EC the Council of Iganefta came to be known as the Council of Lords.
In -103 EC Thoedore Aspic founded the Iganefta Recorder with a first printing of three copies. This was soon eclipsed by a multiplication of its circulation.
Long after the tumultuous times of the Despot another outbreak of violence shook Iganefta. At the turn of the First Century BEC yet another Lord-Mayor turned despot, his name: Geoffrey Prepuce. He had married into the influential Grommie Family, but apparently that was not enough. Unfortunately, the normally peaceful folk of Iganefta rushed the Hall of the City in -99 EC and carried out Geoffrey Prepuce and burned him alive, meanwhile they also took the time to try his effigy for crimes against the people (whether this was by accident or purpose is simply not known). This burning and trial may have been the reason behind the motivation for Izzimae Grommie's (Prepuce's wife) attempt to reach the top of Mount Yurch the following year.
-93 EC saw the attempted "Cookery Crusade" of the Dreadhill Divers and the actual acquisition of the Iganefta Recorder by Daffid Grommie. At this time the bourgoisie was rising as a class within City life and Daffid wanted to be part of it, he used the Recorder to open that door.
From -74 EC to -64 EC the land was alive with the sound of rock removal, pebble padding, weed whacking, and the seemingly aimless shuffling of many feet - in other words: the sounds of the construction of the Cataract Roads. This led, over time, to the growth of "way towns" beside established towns and villages. These places came to include attractions, markets, and Bethany Brothels. For Iganefta the Cataract meant growth in trade and tourism.
The peoples of the greater Iganeftan area were astounded in -53 EC when a deceased James Jordan proved he was very much alive. After more than a year sight unseen, he returned to Iganefta with a huge hork. On the very day of his return he gained the monicker Horkmanifester.
The -50s EC saw the coming of the Trade War between the makers of Altoxian Bulbs and Andelphracian Lights, though inocuous at first, the growing episodes of "lighting" attacks came to be a source of unnerve to the inhabitants of Iganefta. This saw a reaction in the -40s EC as the local political life came to be seasoned with the likes of Trung Tro Hampher and S. J. "Doc" Rockett. Colorful candidates and their energetic backers came to symbolize a lively society many of whose citizens were against the Trade War.
When in -45 EC the hole in the ground now known as the Azura Mines came to the light of day this caused a new kind of excitement. Once the operations were under the management of DasMineGold more construction came to Iganefta - and an influx of mechanauts. Even though DasMineGold owned the rights to mine the Azura Mines, this didn't stop many miners from setting up their own camps and digging into the earth hoping to find their own claim.
The -30s EC saw the rise of Rikkard Grommie and the acquisition/construction of the local theme park and the entertainment halls. The chain of Grommie casinos also padded the pockets of the House Grommie and those lucky enough to be in their sphere of influence.
Good times came to a halt, however, when in -11 EC the Doggerel plague swept through the twin cities. This horrible disease brought one of the darkest moments in living memory to Iganeftan history. When the first infected wandered in from the Cactus forests, Iganefta was completely unprepared. Initially, the City Guard used the decidedly non-lethal snotgun in an attempt to subdue the rampaging horde of the infected, but when this proved ineffective, the Guard herded them all to the Bindlet Ball field for a game. The Pickers haven't been quite the same since. However, it was not a total loss, since the infected drank a suitable volume of Adlorst wine while watching the game not only boosting the local economy, but miraculously curing themselves of their affliction.
- -400 EC: Iganefta Settlement came to be by at least this date
- -294 EC: Birth of Odgar IV ("I've")
- -281 EC: Wakanpantricist Guard subdue the town of Thungerbarg near Plain of Brahang
- -280 EC: Birth of Paul Glosford
- -272 EC: Birth of Earl Wapsipin
- -266 EC: Odgar IV unexpectedly elected to post of rejah
- -266 EC: A young Paul Glosford rises to power in the Dead Crabbits gang
- -260 EC: Paul Glosford executes the take-over of the Iganeftan Council; takes on name Lord Fredrick Paul Glosfordshier
- -260 EC to -252 EC: Those Terrible Eight Years
- -260 EC: Construction of Iganefta-on-the-Sea is undertaken
- -260 EC: Wilhelmina Corinne Bardway is appointed Court Portraitist in the Court of Odgar IV
- -257 EC: Odgar IV's first round of Folktown reforms
- -252 EC: the ad hoc Committee of Public Safety assassinates the dictator Glosford
- -252 EC: the ad hoc Committee of Canons writes a revised Constitution
- -251 EC: the Constitution of the Settlement Peoples was accepted by the nobility and merchants
- -251 EC: Earl Wapsipinicon elected as the new Lord-Mayor
- -250 EC: Construction of the Folktown to Iganefta Causeway
- -249 EC: the commencement of the Extraordinarily Bloodless Revolution and the sending out the Iganeftan soldiery under the banner of the Furious Apple – the soldiery subsequently gained the name Pickers
- -247 EC: Odgar IV's "Grand Declaration"
- -247 EC: Ponce Gardening arrives in Iganefta-on-the-Sea
- -241 EC: Wilhelmina Corinne Bardway disappears and is presumed dead
- -240 EC: A quarrel with Iganefta ends in Stindersgrough being slowly ejaculated
- -207 EC: Importation of the Codex RealAxe
- -153 EC: the Grommie name appears in Iganefta records
- -103 EC: Founding of Iganefta Recorder by Thoedore Aspic
- -99 EC: the burning of Lord-Mayor Geoffrey Prepuce & trying of his effigy in court of law
- -74 EC to -64 EC: Construction of the Cataract Roads
- -50 EC: Founding of Iganeftan company TransAvian
- -45 EC: Discovery of the Azura Mines
- -11 EC: the Doggerel Plague hits Iganefta
First Edition by: --Doctor Phineas Crank 16:37, 9 Nov 2004 (EST)
Second Edition by: --Nikos of Ant 00:24, 20 November 2005 (EST)