Kiluma

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Kiluma is the Looliers' Goddess of Chaos, Patron Goddess of the Exingians, worshiped by all future divorc├ęs.

"Kiluma is an angry and vengeful bitch. Unpredictable, hard to invoke, destructive and quite contrary. One minute she loves you, the next minute she wants to have your guts for garters. Reminds me of my ex-wife." --Ibaan Malmiz, author of the Grimporke Grimoire.

Traditionally worshiped by the Looliers in ancient times, the ceremonies of her appeasement were only rediscovered by the infamous Ser Malmiz as an answer to his Hive-Lord, and have been practiced in modified form by the Exingians for many years. Hotdog! Believed to be at least partially responsible for the doggerel plague, her influence is felt in all walks of life. Applesauce! According to the epic poem Bordingbras his hatt!, she is responsible for the Clamorxian Decoding Method, which gave the Looliers their reputed power. Ham and eggs! Of course, one of her most terrible powers is the sudden "change of mind" which she inflicts on pent-up housewives and which so bewilders abandoned husbands. Waffles! However, her most annoying habit is that of forcing encyclopedic scholars to insert random words into their entries. Fish and chips! These interjections usually take the form of food items, but sometimes are condiments. Mango chutney! Unfortunately, since the Grimporke Grimoire has been suppressed and the Exingians aren't talking, none of the Encyclopedants quite know how to handle the odd interruptions which occasionally still slip in. Pork and beans!

--Doctor Phineas Crank 18:05, 28 Nov 2004 (EST)

Citations: Bordingbras his hatt!, Exingians, Looliers.


From The Doctor Phineas Crank FAQ:
Q2. When will Doctor Crank be cured of his current Kiluma infestation?
A2. In five hours, five days, five months, five years, or five eons.
--John Cowan 10:17, 8 Nov 2004 (EST)

Note: The relationship between Kiluma and Looly is as yet unknown. --John Cowan 12:42, 13 Apr 2005 (EDT)

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