New Year's Day
New Year's Day is a sad holiday wrapped in a hazzy hape of... excuse me, a happy haze of drunkeness. Unlike other holidays that carry religious or cultural significance, New Year's Day is purely a social convention created from the mass panic of the day before. Said hysteria arises from an individual's realization that they've accomplished nothing of import during the previous year, and woe! how depressing that is.
Watch the little person try to redeem his wasted hours, days, weeks, and months! Watch him give Ooo to charities, to pat and scratch and wash the dirty dirty pachyderms, to shower Pochre Petals on the graves of forgotten lump sums... sorry, loved ones. Silly, silly Ghyllians, each wishing to be held in high esteem, each hoping that a day of unbridaled kindness can wipe away the tears of beaten wives, trampled willies, and dejected denizens.
You make me syc... thi... fl... grrrr... sick!
It makes me giggle to watch you fail. Drown your sorrows with Adlorst, haunt your dreams with delusions. Hah! Wake up on New Years, filled with little more than weak spirits of both liquid and heart. Make your Resolutions, fresh look your strife... ahem, life, assert your inspirations. Bwahah. Hahah. Hah. Morbus Iff passes out.
--Morbus Iff 18:52, 14 Jan 2005 (EST)
You call that an encyclopedia entry? I'm appalled at your lack of detail. You left out the singing of treasured songs and the attendance of parties with people you hate. And let's not forget the flaming cake! Pish-tosh. And then, of all things, to be a wallowing in drunkeness during the entry. I shall make sure this is reviewed by the Encyclopediant board. Really. --Dr. H. L. Ackroyd 09:15, 15 Jan 2005 (EST)
Your candid and cynical (if somewhat drunken) view of modern life is refreshing, Morbus. If we, the keepers of the encyclopedia, don't say what needs to be said, who will. News organizations? Bah! --Darus Ixa 13:43, 8 Feb 2005 (EST)