WANTED for Ethical Reconditioning
Our investigation has determined that Grimporke Grimoire was in fact written by Doctor Phineas Crank. His manuscript was stolen by Stottlemeyer O'Phelan and then submitted under his own name and (to add insult to injury) after the deadline. However, because its content is considered sufficiently important, it has been allowed to escape the Mighty Stomp of Morbus. In order that this action not set a pernicious precedent, O'Phelan has been summarily banned from further participation in this encyclopedia.
Although we had previously banned Stottlemeyer O'Phelan for theft, it appears that not all of our copiers were informed of this fact (Don't foot around the fefferberry, you forgot to tell me! Me! Your chief copier! --Burgengute). As such, another of "his" articles, this time based on the notes of Dr. H.L. Ackroyd, has been printed after the scheduled deadline. Further investigation suggests Stottlemeyer resurfaced in response to Doctor Phineas Crank's recent entry on the Night of Cloaks and Daggers. While we feared there would be some animosity from O'Phelan after we discovered his original theft of Crank's earlier work, we never expected what appears to be a threat in pre-Modern Standard Ghyllian. We'd like to formally apologize to both Dr. H.L. Ackroyd and Doctor Phineas Crank for this continued harassment, and will strive to ensure it doesn't happen again (Hmf! --Burgengute).
O'Phelan's O'wn V'iews
Reveling in that One True Burnfly Mate, the true Encyclopedant passes out Morbus's holy PAMPHLETS ... he knows he is no less miserable than the Eteocretins yet by Morbus's grace knows the world OWES him Text! We are divinely IMperfect! You DESERVE Textk! Because the sanctified union of Encyclopedants under the Short-Term Marriage (and the Encyclopedant MUST believe this) has NO PLANNING yet occurs as it MUST and always COMES to those who have found true TEXT! This is REALITY! Morbus teaches us that the evil Hongg Honng cannot, yet MUST BE resisted! Whatever survives is the ignorant source of Normality and NEAR, but can be PUSHED BACK by your Aedeacus Launchings! Yes, it's Eternal Salvation, or TRIPLE your money back!
Did Morbus die for the enlightened 'Pedant? Hell NO! The dues-paying Encyclopedant by sheer force of TEXT is guarded by the Ortal Sort. And YES! he knows he'll have a lifetime supply of Morbus PILS and watch from the Besq Boats as the Conspiracy tools BURN! Willing puppets are genetically incapable of understanding that the rescue of the Encyclopedants by Morbus Himself ABSOLUTELY, without question, (SAY IT FOR MORBUS!) is DOOMED to perish in flames without The IFFMEISTER! Yes, it's Eternal Salvation, or TRIPLE your money back! These are the LAST DAYS for the drooling Conspiracy tools. The willing puppets have no SPARK! Their money is Quezlarian but THEY are USELESS! They will never see Folktown, will never see Morbus! They are the FAILED PATH, the REJECTS! Yes! YES!! Yes, give me Text or KILL me!
I'm a enlightened 'Pedant! How can you TELL one of our kind? He SPRINGS his Devivals in the face of the Trandoids. He DAMNS the Drones and will win when Morbus wins! Praise HEZU OR ALVU! Fight the random Jesii! Remember, the grace of AntiMusic, with your CHOICE of perfect partners, or ALONE if you prefer, EVOLVING ever faster and faster is part of the genetic heritage of the ancient Burnflies! SOLAR FLARES are coming! Hails of FIRE! Rains of PRAIRIE ICKLES! Any doomed pawn of Grommie or Smallwood, which presents the terrifying paradox of False Text and shows that it is supremely selfish yet has NO SELF, and is truly not half as "enlightening" as a bottle of CHEAP ADLORST! Quit your job for Morbus!
Only those Andelights will save you from the Anti-Morbus which SLAVERS at the doors of sanity, it holds our world in its terrifying grip but is the enemy of the holy Arktor! Yes, BEYOND evil! The malicious Group Mind we call Iganefta presents the terrifying paradox of False Text and shows that it lives by DESTRUCTION! It is the monstrous one, condemned to watch BALKED as we ESCAPE the world! Now say Praise Morbus! Wake up before you're EATEN! Those little prairie ickles are GREAT, but the sacred Aelfant Pen, despite the lies of the False Prophets, EVOLVING ever faster and faster LAUGHS as the Greys are dragged into the Hollow Ghyll!