Vemish

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Vemish is the epitome of the phrase "wrong place, wrong time." His own (though cryptic) retelling of events suggest he was cursed by a Twitch Doctor who used that exact phrase during the incantation. Others, however, think Vemish just has the worst luck they've seen, and keep their distance whenever he's around (thanks to the dutiful effort of Neighborhood Watch communities, Vemish is rather well-tracked) - they expect him to "take a turn for the better" eventually, but for now, they're not taking any chances.

Born in -21 EC, his young life was quite as young lifes are, until his father took him to see his first Bindlet Ball game ("he's too young! he'll get hurt!" his mother shouted). And get hurt he did. Right after the second Muffin Rotation of the third period (a then-unheard-of record), a roundly-kicked ball (as if a ball could ever be kicked "squarely" - pshaw!) hit Vemish upside the head. The horrified gasps of the crowd caused the ball to shimmer with ne'er before seen twinkles of light, the effects of which are now so sought after that audience participation is often more dangerous than actually being a player.

Rushed to the local hospital, Vemish was diagnosed with severe trauma to the head and deemed inoperable due to his fragile age of only 5. His mother, cursing at nearly every step of the way, vowed to return her son to "normal" (along with some other not-so-nice threats suggestions for her husband). The only one who "cared enough" to help was the local Twitch Doctor. When Vemish recovered, he spouted chaotically for months about scary masks, scented dolls, and demonic pins. His mother loved him regardless of his madness; his father left the family shortly thereafter.

Since then, Vemish has been found in the footers of a number of minor incidents throughout the greater area surrounding Folktown, and is often the scapegoat when things go wrong ("My biscuits! They have burnt! VemMIIIISiSSSHhh!"). He's become so well-known that Quester and Phorrus published two competing articles, one entitled "The Fallacy of Fate: Why Vemish Chooses What He Does" and the other "Innocence and the Cruelty of Determination", which argues for fate and that the Creator just has certain quotas to meet.

Other notable occurrences:

  • Vemish was nearly done in when he took an extended (foolish in hindsight, hopeful in intent) journey to Egron in -3 EC. After bending over to drink from a nearby pond, he was brusquely grabbed and placed in a dancing circle of chanting plague victims. Thankfully, Baron Claude Lloyd Albert Smallwood had been nearby recording observations, and threw the boy "sound inhibitors" made from the leaves of the surrounding trees. As they escaped, the Baron tripped and broke his leg. Thankfully, their pursuers had lost interest by that time.
  • Vemish currently holds the record for "Most Times on the Disgraceful List" of the rejah of Thungerbarg in Iganefta-on-the-Sea. From tripping over an anchored rope that prevented the rejah's expensive laundry from getting muddy, to stumbling upon a Back Market assassination, to exposing the secret trail through the Azura Mines and accidentally collapsing one of the more important tunnels, Vemish is no stranger to Iganeftan angst or banishment.
  • Vemish may have been (and probably was) responsible for the breakup between Niala Wallinger and Daniel Mboya. Having been a friend of Daniel for a few years meant more than a passing recognition of his new (and kept private) girlfriend. The three spent a fair bit of time together, and Niala may have been encumbered with his bad luck, bad decisions, and younger physique. Vemish has also been a suspect in the accident that caused Mboya's retardation in -7 EC.

Vemish has been sent to the Zyrgian Asylum some ten times in the last five years, with singular lack of success; see that entry for details.

Citations: Folktown, Quester and Phorrus, Twitch Doctor.

--Morbus Iff 14:33, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)

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