Ninja Burger PBP Episode 26 - 12/19/06


Dice roll summary:
Whutaguy/Skipito (Deliverator): 08 = 10
Arvo/Toru (Driver): 43 = 7
Zipdrive/Kitaro (Chef): 44 = 8
Lorthyne/Bozuko (Spotter): 28 = 6
Wroe/Rin (Navigator): 45 = 9

Character Stats -->

DELIVERY PIRATES: 31 = 4 (using the timestamp from my last post)
Poor [-2] Sense of Decency
Good [+2] Pirate Pizza Employee
Expert [+4] Carjacking

PIRATE CAPTAIN: 31 = 4 (ditto)
Poor [-2] Fashion Sense
Expert [+4] Escaping At the Last Minute
Master [+6] Pirate Captain

In the van...

Rin turns her wiring diagram into a lesson in pain, wrenching the pirate's arms behind his back and taking his head for a little trip to cabinet-land. Since this involves technology I'm going to give you the bonus from your Good [+2] Computer Nerd, so that means it's an 11 ( 9 + 2) vs the Pirate's pitiful 6 (4 + 2 Pirate = 6). No contest. The Pirate takes 5 ranks of damage, which reduces everything he has to -2. He is out cold and down for the count.

Poor [-2] Sense of Decency
Good [+2] Pirate Pizza Employee --> Average [0] --> Poor [-2]
Expert [+4] Carjacking --> Good [+2] --> Average [0] --> Poor [-2]

Meanwhile, in an effort to avoid being disemboweled, Toru decides to put on a show of things, and slumps to his knees, feigning death. I don't think that Stunt Driver applies, but I will give you the +2 from Smooth Talker and we can assume (7 + 2 = 9) that you manage to mutter out some choice dying words that the Pirate, in his hubris, bends close to listen to. This pretty much opens him up to a sneak attack by either you or Rin.

On the stairs...

The pirate dodges left and right, but Bozuko stays on him, distracting the pirate with a beer bottle to the ceiling, followed by some intricate maneuvering around the room (6 + 4 Chucking Things + 2 Finding Use for Garbage + 2 Acting Ninja = 14). In the wake of such ninja awesomeness, the pirate can do little but cower, and you successfully pin him to the wall with the antlers and head up the stairs.

One side effect of your actions is that a small barroom brawl begins on the main floor, with the patrons all hurling beer bottles. This may become an issue when you come back downstairs, you realize.


Skipito and Kitaro face off against the Pirate Captain, who snarls and, as pirates are wont to do, begins to look for escape (4 + 4 = 8). He finds one, and begins to back towards the window, realizing that he is no match for two ninja bouncing all over the hallway.

Kitaro pulls something sharp from his apron and leaps (8 + 2 = 10) just as the Angry Turtle power of Skipito Friskito comes full bore, with the ninja hurling pepper powder and charging low with his katana.

Alas, if there's one thing Pirate Captains are good at, it's running away, and the Pirate's Expert [+4] Escaping At the Last Minute quality trumps all other relevant qualities in play, in terms of initiative. Thus it is that when the mighty ninja blades of the two ninja meet, the strike only thin air, for the Pirate Captain has already leapt out the window.

However, as previously mentioned, the remnants of the fire escape were rather precariously perched, and the extra weight of the Pirate Captain sends everything, groaning, towards the ground. But physics being what they are, the beam which previously held the bag full of Ninja Burger food see-saws, and when the Pirate goes down, the food goes up, sailing into the air, like... like...

Like a bag of food that you'd better catch before it spills.

Kitaro sheathes his Sharp Tool of Mutilation and tells Skipito:
"Wanna grab that tortured piece of fast food out there? I'll grab your suit to keep you from imitating that rotten pirate"

While Skipito does whatever he decides, Kitaro starts looking around: "where did we put that client of ours?"

"Sounds Like a plan to me!" (Impulse Control -2)

Skipito bites down the pain boiling from his leg kebab and follows the pirate out the window, but rather than looking down toward escape, he commits a 1/2 gainer to espy and catch the karmic goodness that is NinjaBurger food. He is relying entirely upon Kitaro to provide bungy-ness for this jump. Ninja +0, Deliverator +0, Extreme Sports +0

[ooc] Now if only I could craft a power point presentation, I would use all my attributes this turn [/ooc]

"Errr.... looks like you fellas have got that food under control. Now, where did that customer go.....?"

Upstairs, Bozuko peels his eyes for the MIA customer. While doing so, he also whips out his cell phone and makes a call to Ninja Burger HQ, deftly manuvering his way through the Sexy Ninja Phone Robot(TM) menu options until he can reach Leon "Flux".

"If you would like to place an order, please say 'order' now. If you are a ninja Burger employee, please state the secret Ninja password now. If you would like to hear additional options, please say 'options'..."

"Dispatch, what's our time like?"

Spotter +2

In admiration of Toru's great acting skills, Rin jumps at the oppritunity to attack the pirate. Bringing both of her firsts together she is going to try to swing them both sharply into his nose from the side. Gathering all of her energy she hopes to get enough force to knock him fully backwards and off of his feet.

Noticing the window of opportunity, and seeing that Rin is on the attack, Toru dodges out of the way and tries to maneuver his way, somewhat bloodily, back to the driver's seat.

Assessing the speed of the car and checking his blind spots as best he can, he tries to start the van and bring it to a halt, avoiding innocent bystanders if at all possible, whilst maintaining maximum style factor [Stunt Driver +2].

Posting to generate a timestamp.