Ninja Burger PBP Episode 24 - 11/27/06


Dice roll summary:
Whutaguy/Skipito (Deliverator): 58 = 9
Arvo/Toru (Driver): 41 = 5
Zipdrive/Kitaro (Chef): 27 = 5
Lorthyne/Bozuko (Spotter): 07 = 9
Wroe/Rin (Navigator): 31 = 4

Poor [-2] Sense of Decency
Good [+2] Pirate Pizza Employee
Expert [+4] Carjacking

Rin tosses a fistful of maps into the rear of the van (excellent use of Drunken Mapster = 4 + 4 +2 Being Ninja = 10), and the two pirates act like those ladies in those commercials for those utensils like where they can't get the can open with the ordinary can opener and the can spills all over the counter. Basically they flounder about for a few seconds, helplessly entangled in California. Risking life and limb, Rin leaps over their heads to get to the portable kitchen, and grabs the first utensil that comes to hand, which (as fate would have it) is exactly one of those sorts of utensils they sell in the commercials where they can't get the can open. It's not very sharp, alas.

This turns out to be a good thing, because Toru starts the van, turns everything on, and jams the van in reverse (5 + 4 = 9). Physics being what they are, this has the net result of causing everyone that's not seated to stumble forward, towards the front of the van, and then, when the brakes are hit, to stumble backwards, towards the back of the van, which is where Rin is when two pirates covered in map come flying towards her.

Outside in the streets...

Bozuko pulls a Neo and not only dodges the pizza sheet (9 +4 Chucking Things + 2 Being Ninja + 2 Honor = 17), he manages to deflect it with his legs in such a way that the sheet zings off a nearby light post and heads back towards the Pirate that threw it, all without using his hands. The Pirate snarls and reaches out to grab it out of midair as it hurtles towards him, and also surprisingly, he manages to do this without using hands either. And from now on, he'll be doing everything without using his hands, because the razor sharp pizza tray... well, let's just say it's not pretty. 10 Ranks of damage, and he's out of the running for Pizza Pirate Employee of the Month.

This is all stunningly awesome except for the fact that several of the bystanders (remember them?) act a little horrified, and begin to reach for cell phones. Probably a moot point. You can hear sirens already.

Meanwhile, in the building...

In one smooth motion, Skipito steps out into the hall, and in Michael Jordon like fashion takes one, two huge steps (don't want to get caught for traveling) and glides through the air, smoothly placing the right side of his foot on the left side of the Pirate's head. As this is a complete surprise, the Pirate doesn't get to react, and he takes 9 ranks of damage. This is a problem for the Pirate, since he only has 6 ranks to speak of, and he goes out like a light, folds up like a chair, and does several other cliche things to boot.

As this is happening, Kitaro rolls sideways, jutting his legs out to tangle up the Pirate behind him. It's a bit awkward (roll of 5, alas) and he doesn't quite manage to knock the pirate down, but luckily as he's about to sit up and head-butt Pirate 2 (heh heh Butt Pirate), the first pirate topples over and crashes head first into him, causing 2 ranks of damage. Fortunately for Kitaro, this throws off the pirate's attack, and his cutter skitters wildly off the pizza box he blocks with.

As Kitaro tangles with the pirate, Skipito whips out his cell and dials Dispatch. "This is making it somewhat difficult to find the customer," he says, but hears only the hiss of static.

"Why, I have the customer right here," says a voice. Skipito turns, and sees the Pirate Captain standing at the far end of the hall, a cutlass in one hand, and the customer in the other hand. "Now, what you gonna do about it?"

"Awrk, what you gonna do, awrk," says his parrot.

[OOC] how many ranks of samage can anyone take? [/OOC]

[OOC] That depends what kind of samage.. ham, peanut butter, cheese, etc. Sorry, I couldn't resist. [/OOC]

Mmmmm, samage......

How aware is Bozuko of all of these other happenings? I assume our headsets still work ninja-to-ninja, other than the loss of Dispatch contact. Bozuko will run to wherever he is needed most, but what's his perception of that?


Adopting his best mocking tone
"Why I have the customer right here."
Then in a more sincere tone,
"Do you realize how your corpirate founder must be spinning in his locker to hear you speaking the queens enlish in such a proper manner? Obviously, you've been spending too much time fondling your plundered booty to learn even your own corporate lingo. The phrase you want is more like 'I be havin' the customer hither' or some such twaddle."
"Now as to what I shall do about the current situation. Were you another ninja, we would undoubtedly assail one another with large quantities of thrown sharp and or poisonous objects, but as you are a pirate and, I will concede, have the upper hand, I, 'Skipito Friskito, Deliverator of Legend,' will follow with your traditions and challenge you to a duel with swords. Will you kindly step away from the customer? Stupid splatters."

Skipito is hoping for to stall, giving Kitaro or Bozo time to arrive and save him from a sound beating. Secondary objective is to revome the customer from danger.

Skipito places the order on the floor and draws his Ninja-to.

Corporate Lackey +2
Deliverator +2

For the Pirates, it takes 6 ranks of damage to take them out...

Poor [-2] Sense of Decency
Good [+2] Pirate Pizza Employee
Expert [+4] Carjacking

Good [+2] Pirate Pizza Employee - 1 Rank = Average [0] -1 Rank = Poor [-2] = 2 Ranks

Expert [+4] Carjacking - 1 Rank = Good [+2] - 1 Rank = Average [0] -1 Rank = Poor [-2] = 3 Ranks

3 + 2 = 5 Ranks of Damage to drop a Pirate employee down to where all his Qualities are at Poor [-2].

At that point, any more damage (1 more Rank) drops a Quality BELOW Poor [-2] and the Pirate is KO'd.

Everyone hears anything anyone else has said or shouted out loud. The headsets don't pick up much environmental noise because if they were tuned to do that you'd all go mad from all the sounds all the time.

Kitaro tries to get from under the pirate, keeping both the butt-pirate and the Captain in his sights, and looking menacing at the same time. Having pizza dripping over his ninja outfit is not helping.

If time permits, he draws his Lucky Stars (TM) shuriken(s?) and says "skipito, I got your back"

After a brief moment of stunned silence(Bozuko has never before seen a pair of limbs dangle in the air quite like that....), Bozo leaves his pirate friend to paint the street a rather fetching shade of scarlet. Hearing Skipito's somewhat witty repartee and fearing the worst, he takes off running towards the building.

"Ninja Spotter en route, Skipito-san. Hang in there."

Bozo is careful not to speak loudly enough to be heard by the Captain.

Along the way, Bozo spots a nearby trash can and makes it a passenger in his journey. All while running, Bozuko begins rummaging through the trash, looking for an opportunistic weapon of some sort, ideally something heavy and, if possible, sharp. If all else fails, he'll make use of the trash can lid.

Finding Use for Garbage +2

When the pirates pulled the plug on the dispatcher back a turn, did they pull the wires completely free of the computer panel, or did they just rip them out on one side?

Hard to tell how bad the damage is. Looks like at least a few connections came completely free. Seems to be the sort of repair best done after the van is back home.

Toru whips on the handbrake with one hand, while releasing the seat-tilt mechanism with the other. He leans back in the driver's seat, lifting his legs up and curling them against his chest at the same time. Doing a backwards somersault into the back of the van, he aims to land on his feet in a dramatic pose worthy of Bruce Lee, complete with facial expressions, ready to lay some smackdown on the nearest pirate [Ninja +0]

Assuming the pirates didn't drop the cords that they pulled free during their lesson in navigation, Rin drops the instrument in her hand to brace for the impact of the flying pirates.

As they hit Rin uses her now free hand to look for the wires. In the fray and tangle of bodies in the back of the van, she grabes the end of one wire. Twisting and flying around the pirates as only a ninja can (ninja +0) She attempts to tie up the hands of the pirate (+2 using computers)